I'm late, I'm late for a very important date...

As a child I was taught never be late, actually never even be close to late. My mother was amazingly early for everything- she still is to this day. In fact I know to expect her a minimum of 15 minutes earlier than planned time. Sounds ideal, right? Not so much. Don't get me wrong I think my mom is amazing. Seriously how she managed to be on time anywhere with three stubborn daughters I will never understand. I do not remember ever being rushed to hurry or any panic. I don't recall my mother being frazzled and dashing through the house like a crazy woman. I don't remember her forgetting things and rushing back in a grumbling state of annoyance. I just cannot understand how she did it. Before kids I was my mother. I arrived 15-30 minutes early everywhere. I was annoyed with friends that showed up late. I mean really what is so hard about knowing what time you need to be somewhere and planning how to do it?!?!?!? HA! Three kids later I'm lucky to even make it anywhere some days. I try- really I do! But no matter how much planning and preparing I do- something always comes up! Overslept, can't find keys, forgot backpack, Ella wants to wear something else, Drew taking 20 minutes to put on EACH shoe, Lucy having meltdown because heaven forbid I brush her hair! Something- always something. I can list about a million somethings- and just when I think I ran out of things that could possibly make me late- something weird happens. Stray dog deciding to get in my car. Daylight savings time. Fall back- spring forward becomes jumble of trip forward and takes two steps backwards. I know excuses excuses. Bottom line my timing is off. And I am far from Mary Poppins like during this crazy rush. More like Wreck it Ralph or honestly- The Hulk. Yikes- I know. But are you going to tell me you have never screamed a request after asking 15 stinking times??? No- because even if you haven't flipped out- please just pretend to keep me from feeling like scum. Well I have a dear friend whose pet peeve is people being late. It's really quite ironic because I have been tossing this blog around in my head for about a month but ultimately hesitated to write because of a chuckle from loved one when when heard I was writing about timing- "you really have no room to write about that." But after friends facebook post about annoyance of people chronically being late and linking lateness to bad traits- I had to share something.
Throughout the course of life God has taught me something amazing about timing. First off- yes there are clocks and 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, etc. No one is exempt to this fact of life. It's all pretty amazing if you think about it. Really how intricate is His plan!? It's miraculous!!! Sure does not feel miraculous at 8:07 am as we rush to school, feels more like need of miracle to pause time to make it. But that is the amazing part- God is in control of every single second! Every single second! Every one!!!! He can make anything happen in any amount of time- even in a second! Ask someone who just barely missed being hit by a car. Seconds matter. Ask the gal watching the clock tick as she awaits pregnancy test results. Ask the daughter whose father is dying before her eyes. Each and every second means something. He can make seconds feel like hours. Especially those last 60 seconds of school day or work day- tick tick tick- come on! So although time does not technically stop- God does control the clock!
Does this make being late acceptable? Not necessarily. But it does also not make it shameful. God will get us where he wants us in his timing. I still need to attempt to be on time- however do not need to beat myself up for being late. In past if I found I was going to be late somewhere- 8 times out of 10 I would turn around and go home. No way in the world I would walk into a meeting or party late. I hated the saying- better late than never. But God taught me patience and acceptance of my messed up timing and others timing. Not perfectly. I still get frazzled and rush but eventually I remember I cannot control time. I am not my mother. Every person moves at the pace God sets them at. His timing is much more beautiful than mine. I do not mind others being late anymore. I strongly disagree that lateness or earliness are negative traits. I learned that sometimes we need to wait and sometimes need to be waited on. We do not always know the details or reasons people are late- often sound like excuses when in reality are part of His plan. Let me give you an example that many of you can understand. My doctor runs late often. In fact when he is on time I question if picked wrong room and should be seeing the patient next door. Ha. But he does not intentionally run late. He runs behind schedule because no matter how careful his schedulers are to allow the right length of time only God really knows what is needed. He runs late because it's not about his timing but about God's timing. He does not rush anyone out of the office because people matter to him. He knows they matter to God and God's timing is more important than the time on the clock or company standards. Not very many people understand this. It's easy to get frustrated because you have a schedule too. But if my doctor can trust God's timing then why can't I?? Honestly I have found that God uses that waiting time in ways I won't allow myself. It's probably the best quiet time I get. Someday my doctor will come in office and I will be sound asleep relaxing. Running behind schedule does not make him a bad doctor- in fact it does quite the opposite. Timing- early or late can be a positive trait if put in the right hands- no pun intended- hands- ha ha.

Join us at More Than More- come early or late- no worries. We will be meeting Thursday April 2nd at at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, from 645-800pm. Hope to see you there!

sometimes it is hard to believe the sticky notes

On Valentine's Day, my sweet wife decided it would be a good idea to put sticky notes on the bathroom mirror of some of the things she loves about me.

They were pink (Valentine's day)

And she shaped them in a heart...

To you it probably seems silly, or just frilly and romantic.  But to me, it was quite significant.  You see, many times I do not feel lovable.  Too many times people have told me I wasn't; treated me like I was not worth their time or energy; put me down; threw me away, like so much trash.  I began to believe it somewhere along the way.

And there's this heart, on my mirror - and it says all these reasons to love me - that someone who I love very much believes - enough to spend time shaping them into a heart. 

It was wonderful.

So much so that I have left them up for the 3wks since Valentine's Day.  I love looking at them.  I love the reminder.

But I noticed something. 

Sometimes I do not see them - or if I see them, I discount them - I can say to myself that they are not true or don't matter (but I must say it doesn't even get that far sometimes, sometimes I don't even look at them).  It's weird - it 's not like I don't want their encouragement - its like I know what they are saying and I already don't believe it and so I wont even look at them - it's like in my head I believe they are lying to me (ok now I feel like pink papers can lie - I am losing it!!) and so I don't even want to pay attention to them - or maybe because it's safer somehow in my mind to just not believe the good things, but to stay where I am.  Sometimes I am discouraged and frustrated and hurting and I don't feel like I am all those things, and it is easy to negate them...

Then, you know what happens, someone from More than more, who I have had a chance to get to know through this crazy group of broken people, replies to my cry for help.  They tell me that not only are they talking to God about me, but they say some of the things on the pink papers too - they care and they believe good things about me.  They become a source of the Goodness of God to me - and suddenly the pink papers are more true, validated by someone else; someone who has no ulterior motive - no agenda - no manipulation - nothing they want from me.  And life looks different - the darkness recedes some.  I can see myself for who I really am better.  and I am thankful.

I don't know if you sometimes struggle seeing the pink notes on your mirrors.  They can look like a lot of things - hugs from kids, smiles, care of co-workers, love from a spouse, or a mom.  They can be so many things.  Or, you may not have many pink notes in your life at all - I have been there.

If you are in that space - or if you have been - or if you find yourself there at some point - I wish you would consider joining us at Morethanmore.  We will be hanging out tomorrow night, the 5th of March, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, from 645-800pm.  This is a group of people that love to just hang out, laugh, enjoy time together.  But we grow something bigger with time.  We grow the chance to remind each other who we really are - we grow encouragement - and it is worth an evening of your life every other Thursday.  Hope to see you.

Atm's

 My wife and i recently are on the plane returning from Italy (if you ask her, she might claim to be Italian - and of course, who really knows????  She does love shoes and pasta and she has done at least some of her Italian language lessons on the computer!!).  It is one place we go when we just need to not think for a while - to relax and unwind and not use our brains too much!  We eat too much and joke about needing stretchy pants for the trip home!  It is really an investment of rest we have needed multiple times over the years and we are so grateful for the blessing of being able to go.

 

No matter how much you want to rest though, and how comfortable you feel in another country, you still are acutely aware of your "foreignness" - this is one of the inviting things about it for us, no cell phones (sorry if i didnt return your text message for the past few days), and a nearly complete ability to just disconnect - but this "foreignness" also requires some extra thought.  For example, the Italian people are not interested at all in having US dollars - they want Euro's, and we do not have Euro's  in the U.S.  The electrical outlets are different, everyone eats dinner between 8-10pm, many shops close still between about 130-400 or so and of course and then reopen until 7pm or so, and not all the people speak English (I know you are shocked!)

 

Because of all these foreign things about Italy, in order for us to get our rest, we need to make sure that we have money, that we are mentally prepared for the late dinner and that we have our trusty Italian phrase book with us (No, my wife is not that far along in her online course - she can say the dog eats, yellow bicycle and the man drives and car all really well).  In order to get money, the cheapest and easiest way is to use an ATM and our bank allows us to withdraw money from there with no problems.  This most recent trip, we wanted to make sure we had some money and so on the 1st day we were there,  we were looking and looking for an ATM.  We walked miles and miles and it seemed that we were just not seeing one.   In places that seemed like they should have an ATM, none.  It was super frustrating.

 

After a lot of looking, we did finally find an ATM and got our money - no problem - but i noticed something interesting afterward...

 

Once i had searched and looked for ATM's for a while, i started seeing them everywhere.  I was noticing ATM's at every corner it seemed.

 

It got me to thinking - i wonder if life is like that a little bit....

 

Like this...

 

Ever started to think about how frustrated your wife makes you in a certain area of life/marriage/parenting and then the more you think about it, the more you notice it?

 

  It has definitely happened to me (not that my wife has much to notice, because she is so wonderful - that was a close one!). 

 

Ever start thinking about how a job frustrates you to no end - how it is not what you wanted and is not what you deserve?  Then before you know it, it starts to be easier and easier to notice the crumminess of the job?

 

So many times, we start to look for something and then we begin to find it more and more and more...

 

And don't we often times find ourselves looking for the same ATM's over the course of our lives - having an easy time noticing the spouse, the job, the money, the co-worker, the house, the family?

 

Why then do we tend to look for the same types of things over and over again?

 

I suspect it has to do with how we have been programmed over our lives, partly how we were raised, partly our genetics, partly our life experiences and traumas.

 

But how then can we stop noticing the pain in the butt things in this life?  Are we to be forever trapped in the land of seeing every ATM in Italy?

 

No.  We are not trapped. 

 

The answer seems to come partly from choosing to notice other things - and from getting the God who made us involved in the day to day moments of our noticing.  It appears to not be whether we will notice something but what will we notice?

 

Choose to notice the good.  Choose to see the love.  And when you do, invite God into the moment.  And when you can't seem to, let someone who loves you know that you just can't seem to see the good anymore - all you see is ATM's - ask them to help you see.  And, talk to God about it - let Him know that you just can't seem to see the good anymore, ask Him for help - to be involved in your life.

 

Plus, it helps to be around some people who are really working hard to see the good - to notice - and trying to have God involved in their day to day lives - not weird religion - just God involved in people's lives and people caring enough to show the goodness to each other.

 

This is what we are all about at Morethanmore.  We will be hanging out this Thursday night 645-800pm at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler ave, Lafayette, and we would love to have you hang with us.  Noticing the good looks a lot like laughter, silliness, and a nice evening. 

 

We always have fantastic and free child care for kids through 5th grade and McAllister has tons of fun activities for the older kids.  We truly hope you can join us!

Being a Puppy - What is the Draw?

It is good to be back to writing again - sometimes it feels like life crowds out this time, the time that I communicate with you out of my soul - I never want the crowding to happen, it just does - and Im sorry to have been away - but I am back, with the initiative to write again for a little bit...

Many of you who read this blog will remember Flo - Flo was my dog...was...
I realize that this will come as a shock to many of you, but Flo had to leave this world last summer.  It was not a happy time for our family - but her grave is behind our house if you ever want to visit it.  I know that there will be a thousand questions from those of you who loved Flo vicariously through this blog, but it is not for this post.  I will give you a few lines to recover now.



In the late summer, after we were healing up some from the freshness of Flo's departure, we (much more some of us than others) decided that we needed to have another dog.  A friend (thanks Deb!) sent us a contact for silver lab puppies and through a remarkably short courtship, we fell in love with Truffle.  She is now about 7 months old.  She is gorgeous, but she is crazy and full of energy, and not always super obedient

 

Well, this dog is insane.  We have made it pretty clear from her earliest days that she was not to chew on the wood of the furniture.  We have used bitter apple spray and treats to distract her and a wide variety of things, but she knows she is not supposed to chew on the coffee table, the rocking chair, the cabinets.  You also need to know that she has toys - toys everywhere.  There are some mornings that I have nearly woken the entire house by stepping on a squeaky toy sitting in the middle of

 the living room - it can sometimes feel like trying to navigate a mine field getting from one side of the house to the other without stepping on a toy.

 

So, this crazy dog has all these toys - and knows not to chew on the coffee table, etc.

 

So, what does she chew on? 

 

She will walk right past, over, around, or through, more toys than many children in the world will ever get in their lifetimes so that she can chew on the coffee table, the rocking chair, the cabinets, etc.

 

I know!

 

It is ridiculous!!

 

She knows what she is supposed to do.  She knows there will be consequences from choosing the wrong way.  She knows the toys are good too.  Yet, she so often chooses the wood! 

 

Is it that she just loves wood so much?  I don't think so.  I think it is that she is stubborn and ornery and just wants what she wants.

 

Since she can't talk we will never know, but I think there is a part of her that just wants to do what she wants to do, and sometimes that part is just stronger than the part that wants to make her people happy, so she does what she wants - and pays the price.  Seems pretty lame, until I look at my own life.  In fact when I look sat Truffle's coffee table chewing, I might as well see myself.

 

There are so many things in this life that I know I really would be better off if I would just do the right thing - yet I have chosen so many times over the year to go ahead and do what I feel like doing - and I pay the price and many times so do the people I love.  So many times I don't even have a great reason for doing the stupid things I do - I just do them.  I am an idiot!

 

Well, I am convinced that Truffle will not always chew on the wood in our house - I suspect that she will learn that we love her and she will start to chew on the right stuff because wanting to make us happy is better than her orneriness.

 

I am also convinced that I am not choosing what I want just because I want it nearly as much as I used to.  I am inviting God to join me in my day - and I am journeying with some people who are just as messed up as me - and who have also chewed a lot of wood in their lives too - and together we are seeing a better way of living.

 

We hang out together every other Thursday night at McAllister Recreation center, just of 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, from 645-800 pm and this Thursday night, the 5th of February is the next time - when we hang at McAllister, we call ourselves Morethanmore and we laugh more than any group of people I know.  From time to time, we serve those in our community who have needs that we run into too.  We would love to have you join us - I don't think you'll find a place on earth where the people are more accepting.  We do have free, excellent, child care for kids up to 6th grade if you have kids.

 

If you have problems with chewing on the wood in this world - I hope to get a chance to see you soon!

This Thursday the 22nd is More than more

Hey guys!

Just wanted to remind you that this Thursday, January 22nd, is More than more - at McAllister Recreation Center - just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette.
We will be there from 645-800pm and there will be activities for all ages!

It is always a fun, laughter-filled time when we get together - and I have found no place where people are more welcome on earth.

Hope you all can join us!

Thursday night the 8th is More than more

Hey everyone!
The Holidays have left us with a confusing schedule, but we are going to be back together again this Thursday night, January 8th, at McAllister Recreation Center - just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette.

As usual there will be activities for all ages!

Hope to see you there!

The tree gave its life

Hi again.

Remember the tree? 

The burning tree. 

Burning with passion. 

On fire with life.  From within. 

The strong tree.

Standing for something. 

Strong and distinctive.

I love that tree - will never forget it...

Know what I have been thinking about the tree? 

I have been thinking about when we drove back by there the next day -- after the fire - and then what we saw the day after that - and what I saw this morning when I drove by that field.

The next day - after the passion and the fire - after standing for years - strong and independent.

On that next day the tree was down on the ground in a heap of charred wood. 

Only the trunk left standing. 

And then the next day there was nothing - only a memory of where the tree stood. 

Oh, I remembered - I could walk you to the place where it stood - but it was not there anymore.  Only wind whispering across the frozen fields of February - whispering of the great tree - of its presence.  Gusting at times as if calling out to the tree - searching for its branches to whip thru, to dance around.  But the tree was not there.

To me tonight, i feel sad at the departing of the tree.  Sad that it no longer stands.  Sad that it isn't there to reign over the field.

But then when i think about it a little bit, i remember something.  Over its many years that tree sent out thousands and thousands of seeds - caught in the wind and floating to land on the edge of a field, to land in the depths of the forest, who knows...each one a bundle of the tree's life, filled with the tree's passion and energy.  A thousand saplings, all bearing the mark of the great tree - growing all over the Midwest.

Know what else?  If the tree had never blazed with passion, it might still be standing there - if the fire had not lit it from the inside out, it might still stand over the field.  But it would not have been that particular tree then - its life was linked to that fire - that flame...it would also have never quite caught my eye - would not have inspired me, would not have struck me so deeply.  Would not have moved all of us so much.  It would have just been a tree.

Know what else?  I would rather burn with passion than live safely.  Even if it means that my life will be risky and used up for something bigger than myself.  Even if it means that i risk feelings of brokenness that i could hide if i were someone different.  Even if it means that i risk deep feelings of insecurity as i learn to be real.  Even if i have to face my mistakes and shortcomings with an intensity that i would rather just avoid.  Even if i have to go into the depths of the pains of this life with friends and family that i would have been able to avoid if i had not been so violently ignited.  Even if i have to face exhaustion and weakness in myself that i had no idea could be so deep and yet i could still survive.  I would rather risk being ignited if it has the accompanying chance of my life making a difference in the world.  This is dangerous business - it will mean that i will not be like the rest of the world.  It will mean that i will not be nice, just loving.  It means that i will not be typical.  I will stand out - ready to be hurt, to be criticized, to be put down.  I will not be able to deny the difference between me and the people around me.

I would rather be the tree of fire.  Even if it hurts me.  I want to send a thousand saplings into the world - and more. 

Know what else?  The thing is, the power for this ignition never came from the tree really.  It was ignited by the lightening.  There was a power so much bigger than the tree itself.   The power for the seeds came from the sun and the rain and the nutrients in the soil.  It never really was the tree itself.  It was the power of an awesome God who provided the lightening and the rain and the sun and the soil and the roots. 

This is true for me too.  Inside me blazes a passion - sometimes the passion flickers and falters and the pain of this life threatens to drown it out - but it stays kindled and never is quenched.  My weaknesses and mistakes and faults threaten to drop a torrential rain on the flames, but it is not me who keeps the passion burning.  It is the God who supplied the tree.  He lives in me - He produces thousands of seeds in my life - scattering them far and wide and producing many who are marked by His Goodness and love.

This difference between us and the world around us is what we are all about at More than more.  We are sick and tired of the usual way of being a tree - buy more stuff - get more - get ahead - succeed more - and on and on it drones - the American idea of more.  NO!

We are determined to live a different way - regardless of the ups and downs of life - regardless of the burdens of life - regardless of how hard it is - regardless of our own mistakes and brokennesses - we will be different.  We will live for something More.  In our case it takes shape simply in forming healthy relationships, accepting and being accepted for who we are - serving and caring about the people around us and getting to know a fantastic God who loves nothing more than to make life full of passion.  Those who join us find that they laugh tons and spend a light and fun time with some crazy different people.

If this kind of life is sounding like something you are interested in, we would love to have you join us at More than more - we will be hanging out 645-800 pm on the 11th of December at McAllister Recreation Center - just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette.  As always there will be activities for all ages.  Hope to see you there.