You are so safe

Good morning. A couple of hours ago I woke to the not quite desperate, but close, voice of Sophia, my 5 year old, “Mommmmmiiiiiieeee!” from her room. Over the years these visits have taken on a wide variety of concerns and conversations, most of which have not been earth shattering so, being always concerned about my wife getting all the bonding time she can with the kids I asked her if she wanted to go. “No, if it’s Sophia, it’d be better if you did.” Ok, so as I rolled out of bed and staggered to her room, I started to ask in my head why exactly it was better for me to go and then reminded myself that it was a chance to see my little one for a precious minute – even if it was 3:00 AM.
I walked into her room, straight to her little princess-like bed (she is, after all, the little princess in the family) and found her eyes WIDE open and her breathing heavy. She pressured out the words, “Daddy,” almost sighing it out, as if the name itself was already bringing her relief, “I had a bad thought.” This to Sophia means any number of things, like bad dream, scary thought, saw a shadow, etc, but none good.
Easing out of my sleepiness, I slowly touched her golden blond hair and looked intently straight into her eyes, “Honey, you are so safe. There is a magical force field of God’s love around you all the time and mommy and daddy are right here protecting you too. God guards you with His angels. You have nothing to be afraid of.” Her fear melted away, her eyes softened at first and then closed, the tightness and anxiety in her body relaxing in trust of me and the words/touch I had brought and great big, loving God who backed me. She may have been asleep before I left a few seconds later.
It was then that I realized, as she relaxed in my presence, that it was very good that I had gone and not Melissa. You see, sometimes I really struggle with “bad thoughts.” I begin to get afraid of what the future might hold. I look around me and see the trouble and pain and loss. I see the circumstances. I see the failure of people. I feel the pressure. I see my own inconsistencies and inadequacies and I begin to doubt God. I wonder if He is there and taking care of all the details or more often if He would do anything in someone as messed up as me. Sometimes I even spiral in these thoughts and they begin to dominate me – threatening to swallow up my faith in storms of worry. I am not excited to admit this to you, but it is real, raw and where I live.
It is at times like this that it is really good to be a dad – my message for my 5 year old, so heartfelt and true – is exactly God’s message for me. I could almost feel him touch me on the shoulder, then pull me into His arms, as I sat on Sophia’s bed. “Jason, you are so safe. I am watching over everything you do and are and are becoming. I have you. Be at peace.” And there, a princess’ room becomes a sanctuary where God speaks to little girls and their daddies and storms of doubt and worry melt away in the protection and magical force fields that our God brings.
In Colossians Chapter 1, the Message version, it says, “I, Paul, have been sent on special assignment by Christ as part of God’s master plan (italics and bold are mine)…” This may seem like something very easy to pass by as you may begin the reading of Colossians, ready to delve into some major, heavy truth. But, don’t let yourself move past it too fast. This is amazing. God has a “master plan.” He has people included in it. I am part of it and so are you and so are all of us, all of creation. I don’t know about you, but that is a peaceful thought to me; that a good God has a plan and has me in it…that is so amazing! You see, He has me…and you…so rest. No, things will not always be easy or perfect. Life is hard sometimes – much more so than little Sophia realizes. But, He has me…and you…and He is the one who made it all and has a plan for it all…so rest, be at peace…let your “bad thoughts” go, your mind relax, your thoughts calm, your worries fade. You are so safe.

More than more will not meet this week because of Thanksgiving (we hope that your time with your families and friends will be awesome!). We will meet again next Thursday 12/4, 6:45-8:00 PM at McAllister Center - see previous posts for links on how to get there.

But this is the kind of thing we relish in More than more. That there is something/someone far more wonderful and amazing in this life than just the running, clamoring, grasping and kicking and screaming after more that our society pushes. You may run after money, toys, pleasure and fun, addictions, fitness, relationships, religion, power and success, education, etc - but none of these will fill you up - they will all end the same - "dust in the wind" At More than more - we look for and enjoy the More beyond the mores - we hope you will join us.

Tonight

Tonight we will be hanging out at McAllister,6:45-8:00PM - see previous posts for the link to the place - it's very easy to find.

We are planning on having an unusual time of noticing the good of God around us tonight - I think you'll love it...and hope you have a chance to make it.

Of course, free childcare will be provided.

The discussion time planned is about the Pursuit of Religion and Right Living as something to make life fulfilling and meaningful. It should be spirited.

Looking forward to seeing all of you!

Well, last night we had another great time of hanging out and discovering how cool God is. It was really good to enjoy laughing and talking about our favorite holidays and hearing the stories that accompany them.

We spent time celebrating the amazingness of God by noticing how magnificently He has made people. We did this by writing down something about people, or a particular person, that is just really amazing and wonderful and then some decided to share these with the group. It was really awesome to hear some of the things we appreciate so much about others and then to give thanks to the God who made us that way. We decided that if we would go about our days and notice God's wonderful creativity in the people around us (no matter how obnoxious they may be), that our lives and the people's around us, would likely be better because of it and that, even more, we would be closer to God if we went around thanking Him and celebrating with Him, the intricacies of humans!

After our time of celebration, we shared issues, concerns, problems in our lives by writing them on individual papers (optional to attach names) and then drawing someone else's to talk to God about on a daily basis over the next 2wks. This is one way to support and care for each other and to inite God into the problems we face with us. It helps - life is not easy, in fact, it is downright painful a lot of the time - and this a great way to weather some of the storms.

We then spent some time learning about how Americans pursue perfection in their bodies as a "more" that we crave to fill the emptyness inside. We talked about fitness and health and anorexia/bulimia and how many people are obsessed with the perfect body, physique, etc. We talked about how the American culture and media seems to push this on us way more than we realize and it is a very easy trap to fall into. We discussed how hard this is, especially for young women growing up in our land. Unfortunately, at the end of the path to "perfection" there is nothing but "smoke." The grasping after the perfect leaves people feeling emptier than when they began and they often times abandon the things in life that are more important along the way.

The answer to this emptyness is to see that you were wonderfully made and are loved and accepted as you are by God. He is not there to pound you into some perfect little model. He lovingly wants you to simply become all you can be, in Him. My advice, begin by simply talking to Him. Say, "God, I don't know much about all this stuff, but I want to live my life less empty and more with meaning and purpose. Would you please help me?" If you will do that on a regular basis, you will begin a wonderful journey!

Please let us know if we can help in any way...

Until 11/13 at 6:45-8:00PM at McAllister, take it easy!

What can I say? I was grumpy...

Well, hello again! It has been an interesting nearly 2weeks for me. I am looking forward to sharing time with you all this Thursday night at McAllister Center - 6:45-8:00PM, as usual.

But, I must admit to you, in spite of the fact that I am supposed to be "noticing God" and leading this group...in spite of the fact that I spend my days face to face with thousands of people who, know it or not, come to me to see the love of God in me...I have been grumpy. Please do not assume there is a reason - I have tried and tried to analyze what it is that has made me grumpy. Why it is that I am behaving in such an unbelievably selfish way. There is no reason. I am just grumpy and selfish and darnitall - I want what I want and I want it 5 minutes ago (or more). This is the way I have felt more in the last 2 weeks than I remember feeling in a long time. It has disturbed my relationship with my wife, made my staff look at me crossways and prompted several of the people I serve to serve me, by noticing that I was just not myself! I have been pitiful! Yet, as I have been behaving this way, in thought and action, I am painfully reminded of something I read recently by Donald Miller - If I want to see the problem with the world, the lostness and pitifulness of the world, I only need to look into the mirror! This is not to say that I do not believe in God or His love for me, or His wonderful world and the joy of it, which surrounds me all the time, and which we spend lots of time talking about in More than more. What it means is that, as Miller says, I think about me most of the time. Most of my actions and thoughts circle around myself. Even after years of noticing God, I tend to often be the most important person to me.

This gets very frustrating to me sometimes, actually more frustrating with the more I grow in God's love...and most of the time I am repeatedly redirecting (or more specifically allowing God to redirect) my thoughts and actions away from myself and to the awesomeness of God or to the needs of other people.

But there are other times, times I'm not particularly proud of, when it is not very frustrating, at least not like it should be. I almost relish my selfishness in these moments and am horrified in a strangely tolerant way when I look in the mirror and see the "problem with the world!" It is almost like watching a really scary movie and you know you're going to have bad dreams, and maybe even not want to go into the woods for quite a while, certainly not to any remote cabins...but you watch with one eye open, enjoying the badness, but angry at yourself for enjoying it at the same time.

So, there I am, grumpy, selfish, and not even having any good reason for being that way, ond one morning I head to St Elizabeth hospital, here in Lafayette, to see my morning patients. This year is different than previous ones in that my youngest, Sophia, is old enough to come along. So, this particular morning, 9 yr old Emily, a little grumpy, 7 yr old Nate, a little grumpy, and 37 yr old Jason, majorly grumpy, were heading through St E with 4 yr old Sophia, not in the least bit grumpy. We walked in the back door and smelled the hospital smell (usually I don't mind, but with the aura of grumpy surrounding, I cringed at it) and began up the stairs to the 1st floor where the doctor's lounge is and where the kids pick up poptarts for breakfast. Me, Em, and Nate all dragged ourselves up the stairs and Sophia bounded up them and that's when it happened:

Sophia, still a "slow-goer" on stairs, paused and looked up. This is one of those old time stairwells with the open center that allows you to see all the way to the top if you look in just the right way. She saw the twisting of the architecture and it just tickled her all the way to her toes! She grinned first, then giggled, and then bubbled all that enthusiasm and joy all over my grumpiness. She said, "Look Daddy, it goes round and round and I can see all the way up from here, Hee Hee Hee!" as she smiled from ear to ear. At that point, I was first thinking of raining my grumpy authority all over her parade of joy, but then paused, looked up with her and relished for a moment how cool it really did look. In that small moment, she washed away some of my grumpies and a daddy saw how an amazing God can use a little munchkin of a girl to change a heart's focus, that I might be able to look in the mirror after that and see a little bit of the "answer to the world's problem," not in me, but in a God who gives doses of bubbly 4yr olds at just the right time!

I hope that you don't feel defeated when you feel grumpy - it's normal! Sometimes within Christianity there is a tendency to only focus on and admit to the good things. My friend Tim calls it the "Painted on church face." I have seen it my whole life in church. It was one of the reasons at one point in my life I decided that this whole church and Christian thing was not for me (I know, don't freak out - it's true, but read on!). I was trying to live this life just trying really hard to keep all the rules and be everything that everyone said I needed to be. Yet, it didn't feel true in my heart. I was not always full of joy. I was not always noticing the good stuff. Sometimes God even felt like a taskmaster who expected more from me than I could ever be!

Then I found the real God. Not the one who the church people of my upbringing hounded me with (and I hounded myself with). Not the one who expected me to somehow be more than I was able to be, but the One who wanted to make me more than I ever thought I could be. The one who loved (loves) me (and you) so much that He gave His blood, His pride, His position, His authority, His everything to show us how much He loves us! He did that before I began writing for Him. He did it before I started groups and before I started noticing His wonders around me and before I started loving the people of this world for Him. This can only mean one thing: He only expected (expects) me to be, to think, to feel, what I am able to at this moment, right now, and nothing more. He accepts me totally, as long as I am looking, searching, groping for the way to have the best relationship with Him that I can. That is all I can do - He does the rest. He irons out the grumpies and shows me the wonder of the staircase, through the eyes of a 4 yr old.

Hope this helps!

See you Thursday!

How's it going?

How's it going? We hope with you it is good. With More than more, things are going well. Last Thursday we met at McAllister. It was a great time of hanging out - no high pressure - no fanciness...just a time of enjoying time together, and looking at God, who is the best.

We started with chatting and chilling out a little, to the question (posed by my friend Rick) "If you could be a super hero, which one would you be?" After laughing our way through the answers, from mom to superman, we had some time of looking at how cool and big our God is.

This week we spent time looking at how amazing our sense of touch is. We closed our eyes and touched cotton, jello, warm water, rice, sand. We thought about how amazingly our sense of touch is made...and how wonderful each of those feelings is on our fingers. We pondered the memories that arise as we feel sand and all that those conjure in us. We thought about how good it feels to be touched when you're sick...how sometimes it feels better than all the medicine int he world. In the middle of all this, we celebrated the God who gave us such an amazing sense and all the wonderful touches there are in the world - from the skin of babies, to the heat of the shower, to the crunch of the leaves in our hands. Then to consider how life can take on a different view if we notice this every day...this tends to build a friendship with God! It was a fun time.

Then we took some time talking and praying over things going on in our lives. We believe that sharing our concerns with each other and then talking to God (this is praying) about them invites Him into them and into our lives as we live them and that this helps a lot - it does not always make all our issues resolve or problems solve, but when He is in them with us, they are better somehow - hard to explain. This time is always gently done - all shared stays within the group - no one is made to feel they "should" share, but having people around who actually are trustworthy and care for no other reason except that they care, provides a place to share in safety if people want to.

We then celebrated the happiness of being friends with God and hung out and talked for a while, leaving slowly to our homes.

We will do something similar to this again on 10/30 - at 6:45PM-8:00PM at McAllister Center in Lafayette. As always, there will be free/fun childcare. We hope you can make it!
(Here is the google maps link: http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=McAllister+Center+Lafayette+Indiana&ie=UTF8&z=9)

A Thankful Night

Well, tonight we had a great time spreading some joy and thankfulness! We went to a local nursing home and then to a fire station down the road to say "Thank you." to some people, like the nurses, kitchen workers and assistants at the nursing home and the firefighters, who rarely ever get thanked for what they do.

It was a joy to share love and kindness with people who were positively stunned that anyone would care about them. Plus, it was lots of fun!

This is what following Christ is all about...caring about people...just because.

If you weren't there, we missed you and will hope to see you in 2 wks (10/16 - see below) at McAllister, 6:45-8:00PM, as usual.

(This took so long to get out because it took me this long to figure out how to attach the picture!)

Tomorrow

Hi everyone!

Tomorrow will be our 3rd community reach out night - basically, from the beginning of the idea of this group of people, we wanted to be a group not focused on ourselves...we see that as a problem of its own in our society, this underlying self-focus. So, we planned that we would regularly go into the world around us and do something good for someone else. That is what tomorrow is!
We will meet at McAllister Parking lot, at 6:45PM sharp and go from there...kids and all.

So, plan to be there and have tons of fun!