Those who choose their pain - the second part

So, i feel like there is a 2nd part to the last post...

Within the most tragic of the pain sufferer's group are 2 groups of people:

The first is a group of people who see the good and identify that it is good and want to go there and leave behind their pain but for some reason their life circumstances, their issues, their confidence, their place in life keeps them from being able to do it - many times they feel guilty and tons of pain at choosing to go back to the pain, but in their minds they just can't seem to see the way to get from "here" to "there." Honestly, to some degree, i think all of us live in this place to some degree - we see that we could do or be better people, have more love, be more positive, or whatever, but we are not yet in a place where we can get all the way to where we want to go. This is actually a healthy kind of dilemma to some degree, as the accompanying frustration of not being able to get all the way to where we want to get tends to shove us closer to God - we yell at Him, we ask Him, we plead with Him, we go to friends and true relationships where He is involved and look for new ways to grow and challenge and become, the best we can.
These folks are actually wonderful - we struggle and battle and grow over time. The key here is that we find our way to the circumstances and life experiences that will help us grow and move past the choosing of the pain. I face this regularly in myself - i want to be more patient or understanding, but inside me something pushes that back and i become grumpy and frustrated and impatient. This frustration then pushes me to interact with God and those who i trust in Him and He helps me, but never as fast it seems as i want Him to (still impatient...). I face it in the office - the alcoholic comes into the office and wants to quit, identifies that there is a problem, really wants to do better, to move away from their pain, but they just can't seem to put it away - so, in their frustration, i hope they will talk to God and ask for help in finding ways to quit. Usually what happens then, over time, is that they experience cricumstances that motivate them to quit and draw them closer and closer to God. So you see, in this case, we are choosing our pain, but mainly because we just can't do any different.

If you find yourself in this group, my advice is to run after God and those who love Him with all you've got - do your very best. Pray for vision, that you would see a new way of thinking and doing things - that God would show you where to go next - He will. Ask those who care about you to pray the same thing...it will happen - i see it over and over. There is a beautiful future for you ahead - please do not pound yourself into oblivion for your mistakes, just keep going back to God with them and asking Him for help - you will find that over time you will get there.

The other group is a group of people who have seen the Truth and identify it and start toward it and then in spite of having an ability to go toward the good, they abandon all that is good, God and people, and run full force into their pain. They choose to stop having relationship with God and all that is good and instead embrace the pain and brokenness of their lives. Now, these people too are products of their circumstances, but they are where they are because they are choosing to go against all that they know is good. It is true that they may need to experience that time in their lives in order to get to the good and appreciate God and His love and plans for them completely - i know that my life has had some times when i went against all that was good knowingly and had the ability, to some degree, to change that pattern and i chose not to and i am convinced that that time was essential in my growth in God. So, while these folks hurt us very badly and are so frustrating because we invest so much love and care into them and they betray us and hurt us, they actually may still be moving toward God. Please if you are caring and love someone in this situation, please don't stop loving them...don't stop praying for them...don't lose that glimmer of hope at the bottom of your heart that they can change and become all that you see they can become. Pray that their life circumstances will take them where they need to go to see that their path is detroying them.
And if you are one of those people choosing to go against all that is good (i am excited that you are still reading!!), talk to God - He is not out to get you, but to give you a full and wonderful life. There is a better way!! There can be joy and peace and wonder in life. Please, reach out to some people who love Him and are trying to go His way in this crazy life. You do not have to keep going the way you are going - we will not stop loving you. Consider joining us at More than more - we are a group of people who are all messed up and trying to choose what's best and struggling with it every day, but seeing ourselves grow to be more pain free over time. We will be hanging out on June 2nd for the next time at McAllister recreation center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00PM - there will be free excellent childcare, as always. We hope to see you there!