HEAVENS TO BETSY, HE LOVES HER MORE?????

So last night we listened to a country song "I Loved her First" by Heartland and it's messing with my head! What a beautiful song about a fathers love for his daughter. Jason said he thinks that is how God feels about us. So I started thinking about when I first held my baby girl Lucy- how instantly I was madly in love with her. How I could just hold her in my arms forever and felt no one could ever possibly love my girl more than I did in that moment alone. Or the first time she said "Mom ma" how she melted my heart with her sweet little voice. And the first time she giggled, crawled, walked, grinned, said "BOO" how everyday she amazes me and I am so stunned by her. Well God loved her first. And MORE than me….WHAT?? How is that even stinking possible. This little peanut has me wrapped around her finger smitten. Huh. Amazing- but my darn mind kept spinning. Hmmmm. If He loves Lucy that much- He loves me that much too. Me. Really?? As screwed up as I am? Huh. Not really sure what to think of that. Almost question His judgment- Uh Hello God do you see what a mess I am. "Yes, child I do." At least I think that is what he would say. See no matter how much my kids drive me bonkers I freaking love them. Even when I have to tell my son Drew to put his shoes on 20 times and still walks out of house without shoes, or my stepdaughter Ella wakes Drew up in the middle of the night and convinces him we should all sleep in the same bed-mine, even when my little Lulu screams bloody murder when I leave the room for a just a minute. No matter how they act I love them. And God feels the same way. Still loves me even though I have made bad choices. Still loves me even though I doubted His love. Still loves me when I'm being stubborn (which is rare.) So I started thinking bigger. If He loves me that much then he loves you that much too. Yes you! I hear you- “not me, not possible.” YES YOU!!!! YOU YOU YOU! He loves us all that much. So at this point I am feeling pretty warm and fuzzy- awe so much love. Sap. But my head keeps spinning- until crash. It smacked me in the face, stomped on my heart, tough love. This unconditional love that I am feeling is amazing, but there are so many people who don't know this feeling. Or maybe know of this love but do not feel or believe it. What a crushing feeling. I have this stupid complex that I have to solve the problem, have to fix it. But obviously there is no grand easy solution. I kind of wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs "WAKE UP WORLD! GOD LOVES YOU!" So although I would like to think I can take on the weight of the world- I can barely handle the weight of my own mess. Do you ever get like that? Have a problem that is just too huge to solve? Or a problem that just has no answer, cannot "fix" it. Well it makes me angry. My coworker has one of the "easy" buttons from Staples. It's quite a grand idea- simply press a button, problem solved, and a friendly voice says "That was easy." Well I don’t have an easy button or easy answer. But I have a real answer. On your own you cannot solve it. Gee thanks for the encouragement- right? However, if you allow God in your heart, your life, your problem- there is NO limit to what He can do thru you. So I cannot wake the entire world up to the good news of Jesus Christ and Gods unconditional never failing love on my own. But I can allow God to use me to share this with whomever He wants. He can use me thru all my faults, all my mistakes, and all my stubbornness. And He can you use too. So no matter who you are or what you have done or not done- He loved you first. Always has, always will.


Meg

We will be hanging out again this Thursday night, the 24th of  January, McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00PM.  I you are interested in living life in a new way, betterm than what you see around you, please join us.  We hope to see you there!