The How of Change

In the post, we talked about that change really does happen.  Yet, there does seem to be this part of us that we battle against, making the same mistakes over and over - frustrating, but not hopeless.

Here is what i have observed, may or not be totally on base, see what you think...
Much of the change that happens in us seems to come from:
1) our awareness of the need to change, to become someone better than we have been
2) a change in the way we view life, the world, and ourselves in it
3) a healing or change of the prompts, the things inside us that seem to drive us to make the same mistakes over and over again - this often comes with a recognition of these prompts, or broken places, and then flows from there- this mostly comes from having a relationship with God - the healing coming from God's acceptance of us, love for us.
4) having some safe relationships in which both knowing God and having some healing can take place, where people genuinely care for each other - the problem with this is that this is hard to find - there are just not lots of people out there who genuinely care for us, especially when we are at our worst - most of the people we will find are people who already know God and are broken like us.

       (a side note - i just do not find very many people in the world who love like this, when people are a their worst, except those who have God working inside them - there are lots of people who are just nice people, they would do anything for you anytime, but many times it is to their own detriment, they give so many times out of guilt and the need to please, that they often find themselves empty of meaning and broken in their own right - this is not the type of love i am talking about, although people in this situation can change just like everyone else)

5) sharing outwardly that same acceptance with other people that we encounter who are broken like us. 



Here is something else i have observed - again, totally up for discussion:

At More than more, we really did not go into the way we talk and hang out with some massive agenda - we simply saw the world as broken and did not see anyone providing love and care and help to those who we were so broken in it.  We kept encountering hurting people and loving them and then we were not sure what to do next - so Mtm was born - almost 5 years ago.

But, we have this set of ideas that we try to live by and we talk about when we get together - it is mostly centered around 1 word:

Notice

a funny word to talk about a lot but let me explain:

We stop each time we get together and we notice the amazingness of the world we live in, the amazingness of who God is in us, in our bodies, in our world - we stop...and we notice.  This begins to change the way we live life (#2 above - most everyone comes to Mtm already at #1) especially as we involve God in our lives in simple ways - this is not to say it is not a battle - we are deeply rooted in our dysfunction and broken places, in making those same mistakes over and over again - but we see them start to recede a little as we notice.

Then, we stop and notice people - how amazing and wonderful and complex and awesome they are...and how much they totally suck - they are broken, all of them, even the ones we think are larger than life.  We notice that there is nothing in the world so worth our time and effort and care than people, and yet they drive us crazy a fair amount of the time.  As we apply noticing people to our lives, we start to see #4, and 5 start to take place in us.  We begin to love each other.  We begin to see ourselves as loveable.  The brokenness meets some healing.  #3 seems to come from the combination or the overlap between noticing God and noticing people - in the context of truly loving relationships, we begin to and continue to, search and find the stuff in us that needs healing - you see, we do not want to hurt these people we love and we do, especially as we get closer to them. Plus we can accept from them loving guidance and feedback on the pain they see in us more and more the more we see their love for us, and God's love for us.

It's strange, it seems a bit like a formula and it really isn't.  It is full of grief and pain, laughter and joy, embraces and hurts, dirt and grease and blood and sweat and tears.  It is full of faces, hands, feet.  It is full of memories, sweet and painful.  It is full of life - real life - full life - life as it was meant to be lived.  And life cannot be distilled down to a formula. 

Plus, the #'s above are simply generally how it works - the thing is it looks different with each person - many many times we start and then stutter, we fail and then fall, we totally back out of the relationships because of fear or hurt or past experiences - it just feels like too much - we lash out or misspeak sometimes right into the pain of another person and wound them without meaning it.  Most of the time it is not intentional when we struggle, even with the goodness of change that happens, it is because the pain and hurt is so big in us - the past programming and defenses are strong and we are weak.

the good news?

Mtm will be here.  We truly do love. We truly are changing.  We truly will accept you.  We truly are trying to notice...

Hope to see you tonight, 6:45-8:00PM, 2/7/13, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler, Lafayette - as always there will be free, excellent activities for all ages!