Perspectives

The other day i was at a performance. The performer was fantastic. Entertaining and funny, he still challenged us to see life differently because of his unique form of art. But i have to admit that i just did not get into it nearly as much as i should have. Why? Well, there was this lady sitting in front of me. She was not that tall and had short hair. I know her actually and like her ok, a nice lady i would say. But, i sat right behind her at this particular event. What was strange was that i had never noticed before how much she moves. Side to side, rhythmically responding to some internal beat that only she can hear. It was as if she was rehearsing for a dance act in her head and it was driving her body to sway side to side. So, as i'm sure you can imagine, with each side to side movement she would obscure the performer for just a second and then back the other way, obscure him again. I began to feel very distracted by her movements. After a while all i could see was her and was . missing this awesome performance going on right on the other side of her, up on stage. I tried moving with her, but that only made me feel weird (and no doubt look kind weird too). Then i tried using only 1 eye at a time, shifting eyes just when she moved to the other side - but the problem with this is that my eyelids got tired and frankly all the winking was starting to get my wife concerned (just kidding). The alternate winking became more distracting that the original swaying after a while and so was no use. Before long i could have told you the color hair she had, the style, the clothes she was wearing, maybe even her ear rings. I got so that i was so focused on the nice swaying lady in front of me that i was totally missing an amazing event! The thing is, it was really hard to tear my attention away from the sway (did you get that rhyme? Away from the Sway, haha) All this has coincided with some stuff going on in my neighborhood. You see, we have a homeowners association and a board. Apparently they periodically send out a newsletter (although i have lived her for about 8 years or so and do not recall seeing them regularly). Well, we received one of these "creekside newsletters" the other day and that is what goes along with swaying lady. They started off their newsletter with a few words about the responsibilities of the board and then they plunged into what would take up about 80-90% of the newsletter...complaints. You see, they said, the board has a responsibility to report the complaints people have. So, as i read i learned about people's complaints about tools and dogs and rv's and guns and fences and a lot of other things i frankly can't remember tonight. Then at the end there was a short note about how great it is to live in our neighborhood! So, by now i wonder if you are a bit unsure as to what the swaying lady and the newsletter have to do with each other. Well, let me help you. I could not see the awesomeness of the performance because of my distraction. The swaying lady was totally encompassing my perspective. It did not mean that the performance itself was not good - i am sure it was phenomenal It simply means that i missed it. I could not get my perspective right - i could not get myself to focus on the important things - instead i was focusing on the distraction - and the longer the distraction continued, it seemed the more i focused on it!! The same is true of the people who are complaining in my neighborhood - the swaying people are the dogs and the tools and the rv's and the fences, among other things. The performance is the wonderful people that live in the houses with the dogs and the fences and the rv's, etc. And some of my neighbors (and subsequently the board) were seeing the swaying lady more and more and more, losing their perspective a ton (and their joy!). Now, I wish that it was only me at the performance and the complainy people in my neighborhood where I see this terminal messed up perspective. The truth is that I see this same thing in me every day. I get focused on my schedule (swaying lady) instead of caring about the person in front of me (the performance). I get focused on money (sway) instead of the relationships around me (performance). I focus on what I can achieve (sway) rather than the things in life that matter. I focus on the hurt and disappointment I feel (sway) rather than on the potential I have for growth or the other joys in my life. I focus on short term happiness (sway) instead of long term becoming. And I see it in my culture too. Why else are we as a country so in debt (short term sway, instead of long term responsibility). Why the lack of trust in government? Self-serving leadership (sway) instead of leaders who operate in the best interest of those the serve. On and on and on it goes... So what can we do about these major issues with perspective? It is clearly so easy to get pulled into the swaying of the perspective stealers and before you know it you have your list of complaints long enough to fill a newsletter. Well, first, we have to notice the fact that we losing our perspective - that the less important things are getting our attention instead of the more important things - my wife has this little sign up in our house that says: "Pay Attention to the little things in life because some day you will realize that they are the big things," and we need to see when we are not doing this if we are get our perspectives straight. I am making an attempt to help you notice by this writing, highlighting the tendency in us to sway away. Once we notice the perspective issues we have, we need to begin to look for ways to get our focus back on what is most important. Sometimes we need to move away from the swaying ladies and sometimes we need to introduce ourselves to the wonderful neighbors and have them over for dinner (and then write a newsletter all about how wonderful our neighbors are). One of the best ways to begin a perspective shift is to be with people who are also trying to shift their perspectives. If that sounds like something that you might be interested, you just might love More than more. You see, at Mtm we are all about noticing and shifting our perspectives and healthier, more joyful, more true lives. We would love to have you come and hang out with us - we will be at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, from 6:45-8:00 pm this Thursday night, the 12th of December. As always we will be having free, wonderful child care. Also, for those of you who might be interested, we will be restarting our young people (middle school and high school)group in January! We have so much fun whenever we are all together and everyone is accepted - we truly hope you can make it!