Who we are - What the Heck Does "Soulful" Mean?

We spent some time at the end of last week’s time talking about who we are. I had suggested at the end of last time together that there was a word I wanted us to think about over the 2wks that described us very well: Soulful. So, as we began talking about it, we simply had different people say what they thought that word might mean. We came up with quite a list:
Meaningful
Deep
Loving
Spiritual
Spirit led

Among others…

Then we explored the words a bit more. We came back to our previous time of celebrating the coolness of God story (or in this case, the last blog post) and were reminded that we are marked deep inside by God. We sense it in our lives it seems, no matter what our life’s circumstances seem to be. This part of us would be described by many as the soul. Now, I realize that this word has been abused and beaten down from its amazingness by the church over millennia, but if you will try to release the word from its man-made cage and allow it to represent the deepness inside us that cries in the despair of life and wonders at the joys of life, always moving us forward to something more, it will help a lot in this discussion. We cringe a bit at the word “spiritual” again because of all the things in the world that are “spiritual” and we are not talking about them. But, the portion of that word – “spirit” means something that is not routine, not normal anatomy and physiology, not something I can’t operate on in an operating room. And that is kind of what we are talking about – something outside the lines of the usual. Definitely deep – anything superficial would never match our “soulful” idea. Loving, yes, particularly in regard to this group and Outreach week. Spirit-led – seems to be something a least close to spiritual.
So, what does it mean that we are living “Soulfully?” What does it mean that we took time off from work, put on fluorescent orange shirts, and, like people who are not quite right in the head, took our vacation time to feed people, clothe people, give shoes and medicine to people without asking for any financial information – no proof of their need- allowing them to abuse this, manipulate, cheat, etc to get more from us than they were supposed to without judging them, hurting them back, etc? What does it mean that we cherished the help we were giving, even when we were overwhelmed, burdened and beat down?
What does it mean and where does this kind of living come from?

When we were there, at the Howarth Center, giving of ourselves, we certainly all had the sense that it was wonderful, a good thing. We probably have all heard at one time or another from someone serving on a mission trip or giving of themselves that “I got more out of it than the people I was serving.” Why? We are doing the giving. Why do we do it and why is it so wonderful? All would agree, it is not typical. Inspiring? Yes. Exciting? Yes. But ask other people to go ahead past thinking it is cool to actually do it and they will oftentimes cower and turn their faces away. Why? How are we different? What wonderful thing can describe something as desirable and wonderful as this? I would love to tell you – living soulfully is the way. But what does that mean and how do you do it? Please, in typical American fashion, give me ten steps to achieve soulfulness…
If we agree that the “soul” is that deep part in us that cries for something more, the “marked” portion of us (see the previous post). If, in fact, it is the part of us that dares to “notice” (to notice God and to celebrate how awesome and amazing He is and to notice other people and to see how amazing and yet hurting, they are); if it is the part of us that intentionally shoves out of the routine American, get more, be more, cubicalism (living your life confined to your cubical); out of the mundane, “keep up with the Joneses” kind of life, is it not living with this part of us (this “soul”, this deepness, this noticing part) in the forefront of our thoughts and actions, rather than the background (where it has been banished by us and our society), that produces such things as “Community Outreach 2009?” In fact, as we look to things in us that are “deep” and “meaningful” don’t we begin to let go of our attachment to the trinkets and insignificant things in life, and begin to live more in the “soul?” Don’t you think differently now than you used to? Don’t you feel a little differently than you used to? That is the awakening of the “deeps” of you; the “soul” of you; the God-marked meaning of you. That’s why “it is better to give than to receive” and why “I got more out of it than those I served” are not necessarily shocking phrases to us. The problem is that we live them out such a small amount of the time.
The thing is, I have someone at least once per day give me all these praises for the Outreach week. I always feel a little weird about their praise for what a good thing it was for us to do. I agree that it was a good thing. But I tend to be thinking more and more that it doesn’t deserve some praise in and of itself for several reasons: 1) As I tell them, this week was not an isolated event. It was simply the continuation and expression of what this group of people, this More than more, are trying to learn to live like. We are trying to find a better way of life than the usual American way and the Outreach was simply an overflow of that to the people of our community. 2) There is a very heavy sense in me (not bad heavy, just heavy) that this kind of living absolutely should not be a 1 week per year, or season, or month, kind of thing. It should be how we live, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. There is a call on the inside of me to continue to expand my “noticing” and our “noticing” until it becomes my/our way of life, rather than something we dabble in every other Thursday night and 1 week each summer. This may make some of you cringe a bit – it certainly does me – and this is probably why it feels “heavy.” But, listen closely, make sure you don’t miss this: I see this happening in me and you already. You all notice more than you ever have. You are aware of the wonderfulness of God around you and of people around you more than you used to be. You live more in the deepness and less in the mundaneness than you used to. The problem is, it still seems so far away to be able to live this way all the time. No question that most of the 24hrs of the days of my life are spent not noticing anything but either routine or what my selfish little head is wanting to a significant degree – and I am the one who is leading you! (But don’t forget, even though we all may still suck at it compared to what we feel drawn to, we are moving closer and closer to noticing over time.) And so this brings us to 3) We do not have the ability to push ourselves to do this on our own. We cannot psychologize or rationalize or motivate or plan enough to make ourselves do this. We will fail. We will end up back in our selfish little worlds, noticing nothing other than our cravings and desires and trying to quench the “more” call in us with whatever happens to pop into our heads! The only way to do this, to move to a place of noticing as a way of life, to live soulfully, is for God to do it in us.
How do we do this? Such a strange way to live, such a difficult thing to do, to try to begin to live life more fully sounds so good, but the God doing it in us sounds so odd and difficult, seems impossible. Should we give up? Should we shove away the screaming of our hearts? Should we bury it under a lifetime of busyness and immersion in everything we can think of? Should we live as islands, never really touching life? No, No, No, No! The answer to the seemingly difficult problem is found in the simplest of places; first, in the life of an infant. Ask a newborn to read a newspaper. I know, it sounds silly…impossible. If asked, they would be so far away from being able to read the newspaper in terms of abilities that it boggles the mind. Should we give up on them then? Should we just say, “All he can do is drool and sleep and cry and poop. What a worthless person?” No, of course not. Furthermore, do we expect them to be able to do it? Are we disappointed that they can’t read when they are born? No, we understand the process, it is slow but worth it. They are not a failure because of their inability, they are simply not there yet. With years of growth, they will learn to talk, and then to sing the ABC song and then sound out basic words and eventually read some board books and then chapter books and then the newspaper – no surprises.
Now building on that, consider you and me – we are not all the way able to notice as much as we seem to feel drawn to, not able to live soulfully as much of the time as we think we ought to be. Yet, we condemn ourselves for not being able to and throw our hands up – ready to quit at the seeming impossibility of it all. Still, look back on the time you have been interacting with More than more. We are all noticing more than we ever have before. We are living more soulfully than ever. We are the ones God used to do Community Outreach 2009 and that was seriously soulful! We are no longer infants – we are becoming more soulful! I see it in you and me. It is good. We are all moving from infancy to being able to read, but it is not a fast journey.
So, back to the question, how does this happen? How is God doing this in us? Clearly it is happening – we are soulful. But, we still seem to have so far to go. We touched on this briefly this last time, but this is where we will focus out time this next time, This Thursday night, 9/17, 6:45-8:00PM, McAllister Recreation Center – 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. We hope to see you there!