Jessica Goyette has been a part of More than more for more than a year now. We love her dearly. We have shared many laughs together over the months, soaking up life and her infectious giggle.
Saturday she lost her father - suddenly. It is one of those things in life that we know occurs but we all hate the idea that it could happen at any time, to any one of us. There is no cute or easy "fix" to this kind of pain. Over my years of experiencing loss and watching people experience loss, I have found 2 things that seem to make all the difference:
1) The love and presence of family and friends who truly care about you - not what you can provide to them, not your productivity or how you "fit in"
and
2) The belief that there is a God and that He loves us and cares what happens to us. Even though it is so difficult to "feel" connected to God or even people sometimes in the middle of times like this - knowing He is there and caring - it really helps.
So, my request from all of you is that you be willing to let your hearts ache with Jess and her family during this unbelievably difficult time, even as you have let yourself laugh with her on Thursday nights for the past year. Talk to God about her and her mom, Cynthia, and her brother.
Thanks
We will gather together again January 7, 2010 at McAllister Recreation Center, 6:45-8:00 PM.
here is the link if you need it
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=McAllister+Recreation+Center+Lafayette+Indiana&sll=39.795996,-86.524284&sspn=2.034277,4.927368&ie=UTF8&hq=McAllister+Recreation+Center&hnear=Lafayette,+IN&ll=40.45792,-86.87439&spn=0.062956,0.15398&z=13&iwloc=A
We love you all
Monday, December 21, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
An Update
Hey everyone!
We got together this last Thursday night and had a great time! We spent the time relaxing and enjoying some time not having to be fakey and perform for anyone - being around some people who genuinely care about you can really be an amazing thing...
We started off our time with the question, "What is the worst gift you've ever gotten?" From a game that was 5yrs too young, to gloves, to no gift at all, we shook our heads as we took some time to get to know each other just a little better.
We then spent some time noticing how amazing God is. This time we talked about how amazingly changeable people are, as we talked about how Melissa has changed over the years from a timid, don't even talk to anyone in line at McDonald's when they cut, to a chase down a young guy at Meijer who flipped her off. And furthermore, how I had gone from a gruff and disrespectful young man who was not even allowed to go into the plant manager's secretary's office when I was 19-20yrs old because she hated me so much, to a doctor who hundreds of women trust with their depression management and to take care of their kids. Generally thought of as sensitive and kind, I am amazed at the change in my life.
Isn't it strange and amazing how chanagable we are? In this case, Melissa and I, over the years, have become more and more like each other. She, more like my agressive and strong personality; me, more like her kind and gentle personality. This has not happened, though, on accident. It is because of love. We have loved each other for more than 20 years now. This love is the most powerful changing force in the universe! This is the kind of living that God can give - He has made us so amazingly and loves us so much that we have all the possibility in the world!
One of the things I hear sometimes that just makes me cringe is, "That's just the way I am. I'll never be any different." This does not have to be true. God has made you in an amazing way -able to morph over time. This can blow your mind if you consider it - there is nothing too amazing for your life - when it is filled with love!
So, the next time you notice how different you are than you used to be, or when you see an older couple who have been together so long they are starting to look like each other - stop for just a second and notice - this is a fabulous gift - we could all be just like the animals and simply do whatever we need to do for the next day - survive and only adapt on the basis of fulfilling our needs. But we're not! In those moments, thank the God who made you and celebrate that the circumstances you are currently in with your bad attitude, your issues, your problems, do not always have to be the same - cool!
Next we took some time to notice each other - we have some folks with some major pain in their lives that are in the group and we talked to God about each other for a little bit. This is a really cool time, when we just have a chance to realize that regardless of the situations in our lives, color of our skin, size of our house or bank account, or even whether we have something to say there are people in this room who care for us. That is just something we just don't seem to find other places. Plus, when we talk to God about stuff - things change - for the better. We can't perfectly explain how that happens and we realize that it may sound kinda corny - but it is true - time after time we sit together - we see it happening.
Last we had a chance to view a picture of our family. In it, my youngest daughter, Sophia, is a newborn. We are all standing in front of the Christmas tree, grinning ear to ear, little Emily and Nate, and Melissa, holding Sophia, and me. The only odd thing is that Sophia is letting out this mouth-wide-open, let it all out at once, yell. I mean, she is screaming her head off - and there all the rest of us are - just grinning as if she doesn't even exist.
The interesting thing about this picture is that it is so consistent with so many of our lives. We live our lives, with our "images" put on - our faces made up pretty for the world, day after day. Yet, there, in the picture of our lives, there is a screaming baby. It is yelling to be seen, but we keep it in the background, ignoring its presence so that we can look our best! These discrepanacies between what we portray and what we really are can nuke us from the time we get up in the morning to the time we go to bed at night.
For some of us, it is time to "come clean." We need to be in a place where we can be ourselves - begin to see the pain and screaming in our lives and put it in the perpective of our actual world - to admit that the screaming baby is there and deal with it. This is one of the reasons that More than more exists. We want to give people a place to be real...
For others of us, we are pretty much who we are - we do not deny the screaming in our lives - but we seem to be trying to get closer to God - to notice how amazing He is and live becoming something more amazing than we had ever imagined. But, in this, we are doing and saying the living some things that we know just are not the best things. We continue to do them in spite of the fact that they just don't seem to be the best things to be doing anymore, and they become the screaming baby in our pictures. We can change from these too, if we will begin to invite God into the middle of these and allow His ability to change us to work on the screaming baby that may be holding us back from all the future holds for us!
So, no matter where you fall in the "screaming baby" scenario, we would love to hang out with you, laugh with you, even care about you. We would love to help you move past the religiosity so often found in this world and help you begin to see that God has wonderful things for your life. This, you see, is not some cute, little religion club - we are an open, loving, understanding, accepting, group of people who just want to join you in life's struggles and walk through the days with you - no matter who you are.
We will be getting together this Thursday night, 12/17/09 at McAllister Recreation Center - 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00PM. Of course, there will be free, excellent childcare.
Hope to see you there!
We got together this last Thursday night and had a great time! We spent the time relaxing and enjoying some time not having to be fakey and perform for anyone - being around some people who genuinely care about you can really be an amazing thing...
We started off our time with the question, "What is the worst gift you've ever gotten?" From a game that was 5yrs too young, to gloves, to no gift at all, we shook our heads as we took some time to get to know each other just a little better.
We then spent some time noticing how amazing God is. This time we talked about how amazingly changeable people are, as we talked about how Melissa has changed over the years from a timid, don't even talk to anyone in line at McDonald's when they cut, to a chase down a young guy at Meijer who flipped her off. And furthermore, how I had gone from a gruff and disrespectful young man who was not even allowed to go into the plant manager's secretary's office when I was 19-20yrs old because she hated me so much, to a doctor who hundreds of women trust with their depression management and to take care of their kids. Generally thought of as sensitive and kind, I am amazed at the change in my life.
Isn't it strange and amazing how chanagable we are? In this case, Melissa and I, over the years, have become more and more like each other. She, more like my agressive and strong personality; me, more like her kind and gentle personality. This has not happened, though, on accident. It is because of love. We have loved each other for more than 20 years now. This love is the most powerful changing force in the universe! This is the kind of living that God can give - He has made us so amazingly and loves us so much that we have all the possibility in the world!
One of the things I hear sometimes that just makes me cringe is, "That's just the way I am. I'll never be any different." This does not have to be true. God has made you in an amazing way -able to morph over time. This can blow your mind if you consider it - there is nothing too amazing for your life - when it is filled with love!
So, the next time you notice how different you are than you used to be, or when you see an older couple who have been together so long they are starting to look like each other - stop for just a second and notice - this is a fabulous gift - we could all be just like the animals and simply do whatever we need to do for the next day - survive and only adapt on the basis of fulfilling our needs. But we're not! In those moments, thank the God who made you and celebrate that the circumstances you are currently in with your bad attitude, your issues, your problems, do not always have to be the same - cool!
Next we took some time to notice each other - we have some folks with some major pain in their lives that are in the group and we talked to God about each other for a little bit. This is a really cool time, when we just have a chance to realize that regardless of the situations in our lives, color of our skin, size of our house or bank account, or even whether we have something to say there are people in this room who care for us. That is just something we just don't seem to find other places. Plus, when we talk to God about stuff - things change - for the better. We can't perfectly explain how that happens and we realize that it may sound kinda corny - but it is true - time after time we sit together - we see it happening.
Last we had a chance to view a picture of our family. In it, my youngest daughter, Sophia, is a newborn. We are all standing in front of the Christmas tree, grinning ear to ear, little Emily and Nate, and Melissa, holding Sophia, and me. The only odd thing is that Sophia is letting out this mouth-wide-open, let it all out at once, yell. I mean, she is screaming her head off - and there all the rest of us are - just grinning as if she doesn't even exist.
The interesting thing about this picture is that it is so consistent with so many of our lives. We live our lives, with our "images" put on - our faces made up pretty for the world, day after day. Yet, there, in the picture of our lives, there is a screaming baby. It is yelling to be seen, but we keep it in the background, ignoring its presence so that we can look our best! These discrepanacies between what we portray and what we really are can nuke us from the time we get up in the morning to the time we go to bed at night.
For some of us, it is time to "come clean." We need to be in a place where we can be ourselves - begin to see the pain and screaming in our lives and put it in the perpective of our actual world - to admit that the screaming baby is there and deal with it. This is one of the reasons that More than more exists. We want to give people a place to be real...
For others of us, we are pretty much who we are - we do not deny the screaming in our lives - but we seem to be trying to get closer to God - to notice how amazing He is and live becoming something more amazing than we had ever imagined. But, in this, we are doing and saying the living some things that we know just are not the best things. We continue to do them in spite of the fact that they just don't seem to be the best things to be doing anymore, and they become the screaming baby in our pictures. We can change from these too, if we will begin to invite God into the middle of these and allow His ability to change us to work on the screaming baby that may be holding us back from all the future holds for us!
So, no matter where you fall in the "screaming baby" scenario, we would love to hang out with you, laugh with you, even care about you. We would love to help you move past the religiosity so often found in this world and help you begin to see that God has wonderful things for your life. This, you see, is not some cute, little religion club - we are an open, loving, understanding, accepting, group of people who just want to join you in life's struggles and walk through the days with you - no matter who you are.
We will be getting together this Thursday night, 12/17/09 at McAllister Recreation Center - 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00PM. Of course, there will be free, excellent childcare.
Hope to see you there!
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