Perspectives

The other day i was at a performance. The performer was fantastic. Entertaining and funny, he still challenged us to see life differently because of his unique form of art. But i have to admit that i just did not get into it nearly as much as i should have. Why? Well, there was this lady sitting in front of me. She was not that tall and had short hair. I know her actually and like her ok, a nice lady i would say. But, i sat right behind her at this particular event. What was strange was that i had never noticed before how much she moves. Side to side, rhythmically responding to some internal beat that only she can hear. It was as if she was rehearsing for a dance act in her head and it was driving her body to sway side to side. So, as i'm sure you can imagine, with each side to side movement she would obscure the performer for just a second and then back the other way, obscure him again. I began to feel very distracted by her movements. After a while all i could see was her and was . missing this awesome performance going on right on the other side of her, up on stage. I tried moving with her, but that only made me feel weird (and no doubt look kind weird too). Then i tried using only 1 eye at a time, shifting eyes just when she moved to the other side - but the problem with this is that my eyelids got tired and frankly all the winking was starting to get my wife concerned (just kidding). The alternate winking became more distracting that the original swaying after a while and so was no use. Before long i could have told you the color hair she had, the style, the clothes she was wearing, maybe even her ear rings. I got so that i was so focused on the nice swaying lady in front of me that i was totally missing an amazing event! The thing is, it was really hard to tear my attention away from the sway (did you get that rhyme? Away from the Sway, haha) All this has coincided with some stuff going on in my neighborhood. You see, we have a homeowners association and a board. Apparently they periodically send out a newsletter (although i have lived her for about 8 years or so and do not recall seeing them regularly). Well, we received one of these "creekside newsletters" the other day and that is what goes along with swaying lady. They started off their newsletter with a few words about the responsibilities of the board and then they plunged into what would take up about 80-90% of the newsletter...complaints. You see, they said, the board has a responsibility to report the complaints people have. So, as i read i learned about people's complaints about tools and dogs and rv's and guns and fences and a lot of other things i frankly can't remember tonight. Then at the end there was a short note about how great it is to live in our neighborhood! So, by now i wonder if you are a bit unsure as to what the swaying lady and the newsletter have to do with each other. Well, let me help you. I could not see the awesomeness of the performance because of my distraction. The swaying lady was totally encompassing my perspective. It did not mean that the performance itself was not good - i am sure it was phenomenal It simply means that i missed it. I could not get my perspective right - i could not get myself to focus on the important things - instead i was focusing on the distraction - and the longer the distraction continued, it seemed the more i focused on it!! The same is true of the people who are complaining in my neighborhood - the swaying people are the dogs and the tools and the rv's and the fences, among other things. The performance is the wonderful people that live in the houses with the dogs and the fences and the rv's, etc. And some of my neighbors (and subsequently the board) were seeing the swaying lady more and more and more, losing their perspective a ton (and their joy!). Now, I wish that it was only me at the performance and the complainy people in my neighborhood where I see this terminal messed up perspective. The truth is that I see this same thing in me every day. I get focused on my schedule (swaying lady) instead of caring about the person in front of me (the performance). I get focused on money (sway) instead of the relationships around me (performance). I focus on what I can achieve (sway) rather than the things in life that matter. I focus on the hurt and disappointment I feel (sway) rather than on the potential I have for growth or the other joys in my life. I focus on short term happiness (sway) instead of long term becoming. And I see it in my culture too. Why else are we as a country so in debt (short term sway, instead of long term responsibility). Why the lack of trust in government? Self-serving leadership (sway) instead of leaders who operate in the best interest of those the serve. On and on and on it goes... So what can we do about these major issues with perspective? It is clearly so easy to get pulled into the swaying of the perspective stealers and before you know it you have your list of complaints long enough to fill a newsletter. Well, first, we have to notice the fact that we losing our perspective - that the less important things are getting our attention instead of the more important things - my wife has this little sign up in our house that says: "Pay Attention to the little things in life because some day you will realize that they are the big things," and we need to see when we are not doing this if we are get our perspectives straight. I am making an attempt to help you notice by this writing, highlighting the tendency in us to sway away. Once we notice the perspective issues we have, we need to begin to look for ways to get our focus back on what is most important. Sometimes we need to move away from the swaying ladies and sometimes we need to introduce ourselves to the wonderful neighbors and have them over for dinner (and then write a newsletter all about how wonderful our neighbors are). One of the best ways to begin a perspective shift is to be with people who are also trying to shift their perspectives. If that sounds like something that you might be interested, you just might love More than more. You see, at Mtm we are all about noticing and shifting our perspectives and healthier, more joyful, more true lives. We would love to have you come and hang out with us - we will be at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, from 6:45-8:00 pm this Thursday night, the 12th of December. As always we will be having free, wonderful child care. Also, for those of you who might be interested, we will be restarting our young people (middle school and high school)group in January! We have so much fun whenever we are all together and everyone is accepted - we truly hope you can make it!

A Few Notes on Sharing Soup, Sandwiches, and Shoes

A couple wks ago, More than more had a new version of Love Your Feet! For those of you who don't know, Love Your Feet is something we have been doing for years, in which we take our resources and buy new shoes for people in our community who don't have adequate footwear. We have been trying to think of better ways to do this for a while and this year we have seized on an idea that we think is pretty fantastic! We partnered with a local elementary school (incidentally where one of our folks is the principal) and she found families in her school that could really use the help. We then met for dinner and some time to hang out (and play for the kids - and the 2 Jasons) and provided shoes to their entire family. It was a blast and needless to say a great way to share some of the goodness we have been experiencing with some other people! It was so amazing to see folks just hanging out, talking about life, sharing soup and sandwiches - it would not surprise me if someone had a hard time distinguishing who was doing the "helping" and who was being "helped" if it weren't for our bright orange outreach t-shirts... One of the best moments was when one of the moms told us how these were just in time, took the shoes off her son's feet, replaced them with the brightly colored new shoes, and then promptly walked over the the trashcan and threw the old ones out!! Shortly afterward, the little boy was to be seen in the gym playing basketball and announcing that he was so fast now because of his new shoes!!! Great to see him feel the love of God in his toes!!! We all enjoyed it so much that we are planning to repeat this on a regular basis! We are tired of living in a world that talks about helping but doesn't do much of anything - instead we want to make a difference. At More than more, we are all about looking outside of ourselves to notice the world around us - where can we help... If this kind of living is intriguing to you, you would be welcome to join us - everyone is welcome - we will be hanging out next on December 12th (we will be missing one More than more because of Thanksgiving - i don't know about you, but More than more will be one of the things i am thankful for this Thanksgiving...) from 645-800pm, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. As always there will be fantastic child care provided. Hope to see you there!

What i defy part #3

One of my friends called my last post a "rant" and as i think about it, i suppose it was. but I hope you have gained some insight into not just tattoos but where my heart is coming from and going to. I warned you that the 3rd of my reasons for "defy" on my left deltoid in black ink was going to be different than the 1st 2. Truth is, it was totally unexpected. I went into getting the tattoo because i believed strongly in living counter to the culture i live in and intended to defy it. Plus i wanted my arm to be a living testimony to the fact that i will live defying loveless religion and a culture that promises everything and comes through on nothing except for emptiness. Since getting the tattoo, I have had great conversations with people who have tattoos that i would not have had if it were not for the ink on my deltoid. We have talked about religion and God and the waste of our culture. We have bonded over our artists and what their tattoos mean to them. I have had a chance to have conversations with religious people who have generally condemned tattoos as evil about the state of my soul and how good the God who has saved me is and they have had to face a God who loves people desperately who have ink and who dont. And they have to face that what ink is on someone's skin is not indicative of the realness of their walk with God, or their usefulness to Him. It has been fun, challenging, but fun. Now, months afterward, i am sure it was the right thing to do!! So, continuing on with my reasons for defiance... For years i have struggled with pain and defeat and hurt. I have struggled with inadequacy and abandonment and fear. Over many, many years, i have found a great deal of freedom from these things with God. Much of the journey has been through the very "noticing" we talk so much about at More than more. It is a wonderful thing to look back and see that you are now free of the prison that you were previously in. However, from time to time i come across some circumstances in life that bring back the memories of my pain. Sometimes they slap me across the face with inadequacy and beat me down with abandonment and fear...and the hurt rises like tides threatening to swallow me up! During one such time, i was telling my wife of the raging feelings that i had, confessing that i was struggling so much with the pain of my past and she said something i will never forget, "Jason, it's not the same." Sounds simple maybe to you, but to me this was one of the most profound things she could have said. "You are God's man now. You are following Him. He has you," she continued. This awoke in me the realization that she was right. It's not the same. I am free now. I may not FEEL like i am free all the time and the prison may feel like it is coming at me 100 miles per hour, but the freedom is TRUE and REAL and RIGHT and GOOD. This conversation began a renewal of the healing and freedom in my life. But it also gave new meaning to my tattoo! You see, in the moments when i am feeling sucked back into the despair and pain of the past. When the pain and hurt threatens to overwhelm me, i can now look at my left deltoid and see the TRUTH - i defy that prison - it is not me anymore - it never will be again - i am free! It's not the same. I defy the voice of inadequacy. I defy the pit of fear and the threat of abandonment. I defy the replay of the hurt and the dwelling in it. I will live in the freedom of the God of More than more - the God who gives a million things to notice and a million people to notice and the strength and joy and peace and love to do it - for every moment!! So you see, defy has come to mean not just all that i choose to rage against in my life but all that i choose to celebrate in my life!! Defy to me stands for freedom! For purpose. For love. For Trust. For Goodness. For life. For all the things i knew i could be and was but could never get to. Well, there you go, defiance in a whole new light. My take on it anyway. If you are interested in joining with a group of people who embrace this kind of defiance, who are moving toward living life different, better. We would love to have you join us this Thursday night, November 14th, 645-800 pm at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. As always there will be free childcare, which is excellent. We are currently redeveloping our youth times, we will keep you updated on this portion. In the meantime, McAllister has lots of activities and space for kids to hang out safely. Hope to see you there

What I Defy Part 2

So, as i said in my last post, i will spend my entire life defying the culture we live in - suspect by now you are getting that... But there were 2 other reasons for choosing the word defy for the tattoo on my left arm. The first was expected when i got the tattoo and the 2nd has been pretty profoundly affecting me in the past several months. The second thing i intend to defy in my life is a little more complicated than the first. You see, i grew up in 2 churches for almost my entire life before i left home. I was kinda a loner of a kid, in spite of wanting desperately to have friends and be loved. i would always get excited when someone new moved into town, hoping that they would be the person who would be my friend. I dreamed of moving away and starting out new with friends and good times. I looked for attention and love wherever i could find it. But i did not find it in church. I learned about this Jesus in church - the one who loved the little children and included those who were cast out - and yet what i saw in church was hurt, exclusive and mean cliques, harsh and painful words, hypocrisy (like parents allowing other peoples' kids to do things at their houses that they knew the parents would not allow), gossip and boredom. I hated church so much that i would arrive with my parents, find a back stairwell that no one used, and sit there until everything was over and then come out and meet up with them again to head home. It was easier to run away than to battle. I determined at that time of my life that i did not want anything to do with a God whose people were this way and so i rebelled (there were other reasons too, but not for this post). What i saw at home was better, but not all the way - i saw parents who clearly loved me, but struggled a ton with loving each other. I saw a father who was consumed with making money, motivated out of love and desire to not leave us destitute should he die (which i think he expected at any moment), but nevertheless his focus on money was undeniable - sitting in church and writing on the tithe envelopes what his finances and savings looked like... I saw a mother who would run away from him and problems when she couldn't handle them. I heard tons about the rules i should follow, the damnation i would face if i died and was not living right (felt like i needed to live perfect, although i am not sure that was the intent), and felt the weakness of my life in trying to do what God wanted. For years i prayed nightly before i went to sleep that God would please forgive my sins as i was convinced that i was heading straight to hell. We did not attack the problems of our lives together with prayer. We did not speak of the wonderful grace of God and the joys of living for Him. We did not talk about freedom and hope and life and goodness. Mostly we were dominated by life and its problems. We lived in fear of death, of disease, of problems, of conflict, of money. It felt like a defeated life a lot of the time - we seemed to be getting by, waiting to live at best and at worst living to survive in fear and anger. I realized that my parents had once been very different; that they claimed to have met God and to have had their lives changed by Him. I realized that they had had profound effects on lots of people over the years for God, but i could not figure out why and i certainly did not see anything good in the church. I went my way in life - determined to do better, but not sure how. Then i hit my own rock bottom. Only 22 years old, i realized that i had no idea how to live life. I was broken inside - terribly - see the Sanctus Real song titled I'm not all right. In those times, i reached out to God, as did my new wife. We found Him. But I found Him in a strange way - personal, yet hard to believe in completely because of the distortions of my past. Then we found this really cool group of people that we loved and who loved us - we loved their kids and the kids loved us - calling us JasonandMelissa - as if there was only one of us, because we were always together. We learned from a grammy winning musician turned pastor (now a musician again)who understood God's love and grace so well. We hung out, did life, had lots of Oklahoma Mexican food and learned that maybe what i had seen as a kid was not all there was to God. But, at the same time i was encountering people at school who had this image of God and His people that was much the same as what i had seen growing up. They saw hurtfulness, judgement, harm, non-acceptance. They were talking about how hard it is to believe in God with all this suffering in the world. They talk about the God of child molesting priests and slaughtering crusades and Spanish inquisitions. It was strange to now be seeing the new and the old. I did not know what to do with it all at this part of my life, but was enjoying being accepted and loved for one of the first times in my life. I finished med school and went on to residency and there i encountered much the same. Residents who had little interest in God because of what they saw in the church and church people around them and other residents who were quick to exclude anyone who did not follow their list of rules. I saw despair in more forms than i can tell. Pain and heartache and loss and burden. I wrestled with God and tried to figure out who i was in the face of all this. The hurt in me was so big and so overwhelming at times i did not know what to do with it. Then we moved here - to Lafayette - and i began to truly journey with God - more and more deeply encountering Him as i tackled the pain of my past, grieved things i had never known i needed to, wept and prayed and hurt and also felt new freedom and peace and joy and then even goodness flowing from me and love for people and gentleness and patience and kindness within me - things that i am not sure i had ever really known before unless they were self-serving. i began to see people around me as wonderful and started loving them so much. Thing is, i went to church and saw many of the same things i had seen my whole life in church. I tried church leadership and boards and committees and i saw more of the same. Domination by rules in some churches, judgement and harshness and hurtfulness and in others feel good teaching that did not engage with the real cancers and death and pain that i see every day in the office. It was hard. Plus, i kept seeing people that had had the same kind of experiences that i had had in church growing up and many of them were saying to me that they would never go to church again. Some of them refused to even believe in God anymore because of it and some of them believed in God a ton, and talked to Him a lot, even read their Bibles, but they would NOT go to church. I had talks with gay folks who i cared about so much and listened to their feelings of hatred and betrayal at the church who would not love them. Their jeer was to quote the church saying, "Love the sinner, hate the sin," to me and then ask me who was loving them... Yet, at the same time i was meeting up with and loving people within the church who are kind, loving, accepting, tender, wise, gentle and generous. They inspire me. I now know preachers who love people more than their doctrine or their success. I have seen church people care for the people around them and graciously extend love even when it is hard. In short, i have seen church people who look a whole lot like Jesus - the real Jesus i know. So... I will defy the kind of distorted, mankind-dominated, self-focused, prideful, harsh, judgmental, mean-spirited, exclusive, messed-up kind of religion that has hurt so many people over the years, including me. I will intentionally spend a lot of my time trying to be divisive to any religiousness that is counter to the Truth of this wonderful God i serve. I will fly in the face of their rules when they are not founded on God. I will live "all in" for God and my love (only a gift from God) will defy their judgmentalism. I will forgive and not judge them either(only a gift from God too), but will love in the midst of their distortion - always always always pointing the way back to the God who has rescued me from the pit of despair i was in before i encountered Him. I will serve and sacrifice my entire life, everything (again only by His ability within me), for this amazing God of goodness and i will live this in the midst of the church, in the face of the church - with the intent to show them the wonder of this amazing God. And i will do it with a symbol of my defiance on my left upper arm. You see, i will simultaneously stand for all the judged people that have a tattoo in the world and for the wonderful love of the amazing God who established the church in the first place. My intent is to live out my life loving God and people and have church people ask me why i have a tattoo and then have the chance to tell them about this amazing God in my life...maybe in a way they never expected. And, my intent is to have some awesome conversations with some people i love dearly who have tattoos, who have no idea how much i love God, but who like the ink on my arm. We will have conversations about a God who loves people with tattoos as much as people without them. And how the people who judge them because of their tattoos or their long hair or the color of their skin or whatever superficialness they are being judged by do not well represent the God who i serve - the God who, when He walked on this earth, was accused of being a drunkard and hung out with the cast-offs of the society. Why did He? Because He loved them. He loved them. He loved them. He believed they had a beautiful future ahead of them. He believed they mattered! And so do i. (By the way, while i got the tattoo, me & the tattoo artists - now my friends - had a fantastic conversation about God...they are great guys who really struggle with how hurtful people are to them because of their skin) My hope is to be part of a church that loves people the way God does - in the meantime, i will defy anything that is contrary to the Goodness of God.

Why Defy?

Well, many of you know that a few months ago i got a tattoo. This is on left uppr arm and it says simply "defy" I thought and prayed for many months before deciding to finally go and get it done - the idea of something so permanent on my skin was not something to be entered into lightly and i knew it. Yet, the more i prayed, the more i felt certain that it was the right thing to do. Since having it done, i have been praying and thinking about how to tell the story of why it is so important to me. There are many people in my life who do not and will not agree with me doing it. In fact, i was raised to basically believe, either being told this or having the general idea portrayed, that tattoos are wrong and that people with tattoos are probably sinful, bad people, people to be feared. But then again, i was also raised to believe the Baptists were wrong and Catholics were more wrong, that going to movies was wrong and that dancing was wrong, so i will let you judge where all that goes... i have decided to tell the story in 2 parts - the first being this one: Why Defy? and then the second being: Why a Tattoo? Why Defy? There are basically 3 things that I intend to live my life defying, 2 were very clear to me and partly were the reason for the tattoo in the first place and then there was a 3rd reason that came up after the tattoo was placed, and actually has been more significant to me than the other 2 up to this point. The first, and most important, thing that I intend to defy in my life is the culture around me. I intend to fight against it with every breath that I have, with every ounce of energy, with every drop of my blood - I know it sounds dramatic, but let me explain. Every day I go to my office, to care for people that I have grown to love, and I see that they spend the far majority of their time working their hearts out for bosses that don't care at all about them, in companies that will downsize them in a second if they can save a buck. I see that we live in neighborhoods where the people are more interested in their own rights and keeping their lawns neat or their privacy in place or whatever and in towns where politicians are more interested in their income and the perks than the people they serve. I see that we live in a culture where marriages split and kids are left to fend for themselves as often or more often than they succeed, where affairs are commonplace and to be shared with your doctor but not with your spouse. Where working hard is intended at best to provide for your family so the kids can get better jobs than us and therefore make more money to buy things that won't make them any more happy than the things we have bought ourselves and at worst it is to gratify our every desire, running up our credit card debts to the max so that we can have houses full of things that only distract us from our emptiness. I know far more families that are in turmoil than those that uplift and support each other and it is always about me, me, me. We talk and talk and talk about values and family values and stuff like that but we do not live it. Giving to help our fellow man or woman is buying girl scout cookies or boy scout popcorn, and most dedicated and giving people we know spend a week a year on a mission trip. I see people literally shredding each other - after years of marriage, chucked aside - treated as inhuman because of our faith or our skin color or the tattoo's on our skin - we search for the differences between us not to celebrate our diversity but to judge and exclude. We say our companies are about serving the people we serve but they are not, they are about making money, and we all know it. I am disgusted by this culture. I feel literally nauseated when I see people who have been destroyed by their own greed - sitting there in front of me after a lifetime of following after what the culture tells them they should be doing - getting what they can - with no one who cares for them in their old age - children who hate them because they have treated them so badly for years, spouses who have left them because there was not enough attention paid to them after the work day was done. I sit with them day after day - "there must be something more" is the phrase I hear over and over again - "I feel empty inside" This is the end result of our culture - driven by greed - driven to destroy - like a parasite. My answer to the culture? I will defy it! I will live my life differently and try my best to encourage as many people as possible to come with me. I will live for other people. I will give my money away and serve in my own town, day after day, week after week, year after year. I will throw aside the idea of stuff as king and will do everything I can to love those around me - making them my focus - no matter how frustrating, difficult, and painful. I will live a life in the face of the culture and I will live it with joy and peace and meaning and purpose and I will keep going as long as I have blood in my veins and breath in my lungs. I will teach my children from the time they are little that people are the most important thing, not stuff or winning or succeeding. I will honor my wife and grow my relationship with her and together we will form a team diving into the darkness of the world to shine as much light as we can. I will give my gifts to the world around me, mentoring and teaching and doctoring. I will give tons of care and life and goodness away - always with the mission to spread the defiance of the culture and help other people see that there is a better way. I will disregard the tightness of my schedule when people are involved and serve the person who needs me most, even if it means inconveniencing me or the person after them on the schedule. I will defy the pressure to hurry hurry hurry and instead will stop and notice, pay attention to the awe and wonder around me and savor the moments of my day. I will resist the urge to be more and more involved and instead will only involve myself in things that meet with the mission of cultural defiance and valuing people, with few, if any, exceptions. But I will aggressively involve myself in all areas that come up that meet those goals, involving my family in that as much as possible. My life will not be ordinary. In short, I will live every second of my life in defiance of the culture - I will defy. This is my mission - I am not perfect at it, but I am giving it everything I have and I will continue to. I will defy. I will continue this soon - next will be the other 2 things I intend to defy - it'll be interesting to hear what you think... If you happen to find this appealing - all this defiance in a positive direction, you should consider joining us at More than more - we will be hanging out tomorrow night, the 3rd of October, Thursday, from 6:45-8:00pm at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. As always there will be free childcare. Hope to see you there!

Did you Notice?

I painted a picture for you today. Did you notice? Friday night my husband and I had our first date night in what felt like forever. It was simple shared dinner from one of my favorite restaurants. Thank goodness for couponsJ. Anyways we were lucky to be seated next to a nice couple and struck up a conversation about the weather. Sky was super dark out the windows on one side of building and clear out the other side. We could hear the rumbling thunder and caught a few quick glimpses of bright lightening bolts as they burst from the sky. The couple had just been to a wedding and said right after it started massively pouring and no one wanted to leave the church. For the newly wed I hope it is not a sign of bad luck as you probably have heard before. We enjoyed the end of our meals- shared a coupon with them and both went on our way without getting caught in the rain. Although I know it rained because I heard it ping ping on the metal roof. I love that sound!! Want a metal roof so bad. See I love storms. I love the sounds, the smell, and the puddle to splash in after, love the rainbows, love the coziness of our home when it storms outside. Yet I hate the storms of life inside our home and inside my heart. Funny how that works. Anyways on our drive home the sky was just absolutely gorgeous. Breathtaking does not even begin to describe. I made Matt pull over so we could take a picture. Sorry camera on phone not high quality. No matter what I did I just could not capture the beauty of it. Seriously the clouds stood so still that off in the distance they appeared to paint a landscape of trees. The colors were so radiant and varied from dark blue to bright pink and purple. It just stunned me. All I could think was - God painted me this picture today! He painted beauty in the storm. He painted a reminder to notice the amazing love He has for us even in our dark moments. But the story does not end there. As we stood in awe at his work our phone kept dinging from texts from a friend who was in the middle of a huge storm. He hurried on our way to meet him in his struggle and remind him the truth. We loved him in his frustrations, loved him thru his thunder, and loved him thru his rain. Because that is what God does with us! He sees our brokenness, He feels it with us, He hears our cries, and He embraces us in it. He does not abandon us. He does not run for shelter from our storm- HE IS our shelter in the storm. He takes the dark moments and reminds us to see the beauty in them. He reminds us to notice. Perhaps the rain after the wedding was a reminder to stay with him during the storms. Maybe you are in a storm right now. Maybe feel hopeless, feel alone, feel stuck, frustrated, scared, confused, or a tornado of emotions. Maybe not- but I’m guessing if you are not in one now- you either have been or will be at some point. I cannot make the storm go away, nor can More than More. But we can help you notice Him in it. We will meet you in your storm, endure it with you, and eventually rejoice as we splash in the puddles with you. Notice with us. We will be hanging out on the 19th of September, 6:45-8:00PM, free childcare, as always. We meet at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafyette.

Tonight

More than more will be hanging out tonight (September 5th) at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00.  It will be a restful time, a time to see the world a little differently - hope you can join us!

Don't Forget Tomorrow Night

Hey everyone!  Wanted to take a second and remind you that More than more will be hanging out tomorrow night, the 22nd of August, 6:45-8:00PM, at McAllister Recreation Center, which is just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. 

I wonder if many of you have thought many times about coming and haven't, for whatever reason...well let me tell you something.  If you are sick of life as usual in this world and would like to be around some people who genuinely care, you will never find a group of people more accepting.  Please also don't be confused that we somehow are all holding hands and stuff the whole time - mostly when we get together we laugh, share some stories and then try to catch a glimpse of a better way to be living this life - we call it noticing.

Anyone, any age, any past, any anything, is welcome.

Plus we have some of the best childcare anywhere, for free!

Would love to see you there

An Outreach...and a Mathematician

Hello again everyone.  I have been longing to write, but the days are filled...and my computers and server at home have been psycho - allowing me no access to pics that i really wanted to include in this post, but am unable.  So, here i am with a moment to write - and i will wait no longer!

2 things to write about in More than more's journey:

First, we had the very distinct pleasure a couple wks ago to serve a neighbor.  We spent the evening cleaning out weeds, trimming bushes and cutting out stumps.  Some of us were even given some remembrances of this outreach for a couple wks after it was done, as there was some poison ivy the size of alaska that we were trimming (and some of us thought we could not get it...in spite of being warned!).  It was awesome fun to work hard, side by side, to help someone who needed some loving in the form of sweat and hard work and yes...even rashes.  We totally shared the evening, cared with our muscles, and made a difference in the life of one lady.  See, we particularly love these times!  It is one thing to talk and talk and talk about the hurt in our world, the issues and problems that people face.  But it is quite another to give yourself fully to bringing a slice of healing to those hurts and some solutions (even though they are small and partial) to the issues and problems.  We are sick of talking about caring - we are ready to care - actively!  I hope to have some pics to share soon - especially one of Jason riding down the road on his riding mower, pulling his cart, hat turned to the side like he was some kind of hoodlum!

Second, ~10days or so ago, we had the joy of having James Gilmore, our resident Math teacher, come and visit with us.  He told us the story of a math guy who started putting plastic cubes together with rubber bands and made a math puzzle.  His name?  Rubik.  Yes, he invented a cube.  It is one of the hardest puzzles to solve in the world.  So, our friend James passed out one cube (or some kind of puzzle) to all of us  - he even had cubes with princesses for some of us! - and talked to us about them.

Well in order to grasp what we noticed that was particularly cool, we have to talk a little about something else and will tie it all together.  There are some people you see, who think that this world, all of it, including us, happened by accident.  That millions of years ago this mix of chemicals came together and got a shock of lightening and made amino acids (which are the building block of proteins - there are 20 of these, from simple to complex).

Now, back to the Rubik's cube - if you have one, go get it, preferably all messed up - it turns out they have got all these statistics on this cube...and on the whole amino acid thing.  Get this:

   It is more likely that a BLIND person, with no training, can pick up a Rubik's cube and solve it spontaneously on the first try (before you hurry past that, stop and think, how would they see the colors to solve it?), than it is that a current of lightening could make even 1 amino acid, the most simple one to make.  This would still leave 19 more amino acids, much less form them into proteins to make life, etc, etc, etc.

   In other words - it is so far fetched to believe that all of life came accidentally!  much moreso that to believe that there is an amazing, beyond intelligent, loving, caring creator who made life.

So, the next time you feel abandoned, hurt, lost.  The next time you feel so alone you feel as if you might be a cosmic accident.  Grab that thought, go get your Rubik's cube and remember that there is a fantastic God who loves you very much.  He made this world with so much complexity and so much care that He gave us green grass and a million flowers and hugs and smiles.  I know there are also tears and pains and all kinds of difficulties too - am not denying that at all.  I am just saying that maybe, He will help you through.  Maybe there is More to Notice than you have.

If you are sick of seeing only what the rest of the world sees, we would love to have you join us this Thursday, the 8th of August, from 6:45-8:00PM at McAllister Recreation Center - just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette.  There will be free, wonderful, childcare as always.  We are determined to live life differently, even if it means playing some games sometimes!

You Just Don't Understand

When i was in med school, it didn't take me long to learn that it is a bad idea to say to a woman anything on the order of, "i understand" when she is getting a mammogram, pap smear, or in childbirth.  In fact, in medicine you learn pretty quickly that you will never be able to understand most of the people's pain and problems that you care for, male, female, young, old - there are just too many pains and too many people.

But every once in a while you get an appreciation, a taste, of the pain of others have felt and in those moments you find yourself grateful for your own life.  I am not suggesting that in these "taste" moments that you truly understand all the layers and facets of someone's pain, but maybe just a hint of it - i am about to write about something that is giving me a taste tonight and i want to put this disclaimer at the top of this post - I am not claiming to understand - that is kinda the point - i don't understand - never will - but i feel this strange pain tonight and wanted to share a new appreciation with you - so bear with me, or, if you don't want to find out what i have tasted, please stop reading now.  Really, i am so overwhelmed sometimes by the pain of the people around me that it is not unusual for me to be exhausted by the end of the day, in spite of the fact that i hardly have a vigorous job!  The pain and heartache is huge in this world.  But, rather than running from the pain, i would rather acknowledge it, own it (at least mine and the people i love), and try to honestly deal with life from there.  that is what i am trying to do here, join me if you want.

In the past 18 months i have tasted what it might be like to lose a child.  I flew to meet my wife and daughter, what seemed like 24 hours (it wasn't), all the while not sure if my daughter would be alive when i got there and then arrived to hear the doctors tell us that leukemia was one of the possibilities and looking at her labs, i was thankful we had her right then but was not sure she would be with us in 2013 - thankfully she is with us, but the taste of losing her - the idea of it being in my mind and my wife's, was horrific.   I cannot begin to fathom the devastation of losing a child.  I am so thankful for the life of my 14 year old. 

Now this may sound silly to many of you, but tonight i miss my wife.  You must understand, we got married when i was 21 and she was 19.  I had only lived in dorms and my childhood home prior to living with her.  The longest we have been apart before this year (btw we will be married 20years this month) was 3days for girls weekends and a couple solitude retreats i have taken.  She was gone all last week and was back for all of about 18hrs and then she left again.  I have to tell you - i miss everything.  I miss her hogging the covers.  I miss her pillow on the bed.  I miss the way she laughs and the way she jokes.  I miss the way she hugs me when i come home.  I miss the way when i am hurting (which i am today - for a totally separate reason), she consoles me and reminds me of who i really am, as opposed to who i think/fear i am.

So, i was sitting there this morning in church, listening, singing, trying to notice what might be important for me to hear and feeling all this emotion - missing her (please bear with me - i know it probably sounds so trivial to many of you) - when it smashed me in the head like a 2x4.  This is how bad it hurts to just miss her (when she's coming back next saturday).  What if i lost her?  What must it feel like to have the woman you love die?  Then there is never going to be her joking and her hugs and her pillow and her reminders.  And then my mind continued (as it so often does), what if it wasn't that i lost her, but that she betrayed me?  What if she stopped loving me?  What if she not only wasn't here with me, but she chose not to be here with me?  If just missing her here and now hurts like this...oh my...and my heart began to throb for those i love so dearly that have lost those they love...their faces flashed across my mind - some i have been to the funerals and some i have been there in the divorces and some i was not around for the pain but i have seen it so many times on their faces.  I wanted to sob then and there.  I didn't, but i wanted to.  I wanted to grieve for all the heartache and all the pain they feel.  I don't want them to have to feel even the tiny amount of pain i feel right now missing my wife, much less to feel the agony that they have felt in their lives - i want to take it away - i want to make it all right...but i can't.  I can't make it all right anymore than i can make myself invisible.

I am reading this book a friend gave to me to read.  I think my mom read it a long time ago, because i remember the title and i wondered about it at the time (like why do you need that book, mom).  It's called Healing for Damaged Emotions.  It's by a guy named David Seamonds (i think that is the name anyway).  I am only a little way into the book, so i can't come out and say that it is fantastic or anything like that, but i have thoroughly benefited from what i have read so far and am promised a chance to talk about it when i am done reading, with the friend who gave it to me - that will be a good thing.  Anyway one of the things i have taken already from this book is that many times we don't fully appreciate the pain in someone's heart even when we know them.  There are many reasons for this, at least in me.  In part it is because i am way more self-focused than i want to be - and when i am thinking about me, i have a hard time noticing someone else's pain.  In part we dont see it because we don't give each other the chance to see the hurts - and understandably so, fool me once shame on you... - we are not easily ready to be open to being hurt again.  Sometimes it is because we do not even realize how the pain in our lives is affecting us - we figure we are "over it" and so we don't think it would be of any use to even share it.  Sometimes we don't share because it is just to painful and we don't want to go back there again - again understandably.  So, it is easy to miss the pain that is right there in those we care about.

Another thing i have learned in this book is that we need to be so kind and understanding with each other, willing to forgive, patient and wise.  For so many times the things we say and do come partly from all the pain in us - all the hurt in us - and we may not be able to control it.  In fact many times we do not even realize why we are doing the things we do, we just do them, in response to inward programming, brought about by the hurts.  We need to be willing to consider that when someone hurts us who we love and who loves us, it may not be because they are mean or bad, but broken, hurting.  Now, how to deal with that in a relationship is difficult and i am not sure i even have a clue how.  But, realizing that the pain and heartache in us motivates and drives us could be so helpful to forgive, to heal, to reconcile, to bear with.

I also have learned that many many times good people who are trying everything they can think of to be the best people they can be, trying to notice really good, trying to connect with God and inviting Him into their worlds - sometimes they really struggle with making progress because of all the hurt they have inside them.  This certainly has been the case for me - it has taken me years and years to make any progress at all with God - never really understood it until I began to see how my broken places were pushing to be a person that i didn't want to be - the good news for me is that God has brought tons of healing to my broken places (still have a long way to go) and for some of the people i know.

This feeling like you are trying and having a hard time making progress is super common i think.  And it brings out 2 points.  1) Don't get so discouraged that you give up - keep going - there is healing to be had - we can talk about it, we certainly can't heal your hurts, but we can help you begin the process and point you in some good directions - and this is the life journey we try to walk through together in More than more.  2) We must battle back against our tendencies to sometimes judge other people harshly because they are not making "progress" in their lives at the same pace as we are.  I have had to learn this as a leader.  People's journeys vary and i need to accept their choices and their lives as theirs.  The hard part is watching them make choices that harm them and receiving the harm they give me.  It doesn't mean that we have to condone what they are doing - we must still tell them the truth - but we must look for ways to continue to accept and love them, regardless of their choices.

So, i guess i just wanted to write a bit about the pain in our lives.  I hate that so many of you (all of you, really) have had to deal with pain - tons of it - massive amounts of it.  It breaks my heart to imagine the internal anguish you have been through.  I am sorry for the times i have not understood, the times i have been selfish, the times i have been too broken in myself to see you clearly.  In the midst of the taste of missing my wife, i want you to know that i may not understand, but i do care, we care.  This is what More than more is all about, creating space for people to go on this journey of healing together.  It is not perfect - but it is better than any other place i have found for this journey.

We will be hanging out again on July 25th.  McAllister Recreation Center - just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 645-800 pm.  Hope to see you there.

Outreach details

Sorry this is so late, but this is first chance i have had to sit down today - boy do i ever miss Melissa!  We have an exciting outreach tomorrow night!  We will be working in a yard - so wear work clothes, and bring shovels, rakes, loppers, pruners, work gloves, anything that might be helpful in getting a yard in shape (no mowers necessary).  We will meet at McAllister, just off 20th and schuyler ave,  at 645 as usual and will leave at 655, so dont be too late. we plan to be finished by 830ish - i look forward to joining with you in sharing God's love!

it is gonna be a great time so dont miss it

A "moment"

This morning we (me and my oldest daughter) were driving down the road outside our house.  It goes over a bridge where a creek flows.  This bridge has always been called the"bump bridge" because it has provided us with many "airborne" moments because of the steepness of it and the size of our truck.

Well, a while back we had some flooding and a massive number of trees were stuck on the side of the bottom of the bridge - blocking a lot of the flow of the creek until they could be removed with lots of heavy equipment.  Within a few days of that, there was a crew working on the bridge - limiting it to 1 lane and then with 24hrs, there was a traffic light.  Now, we cannot go straight over the "bump bridge" but must wait for the traffic light to signal that we can safely cross in the 1 remaining lane.  This light can be frustrating, because although we were told that there was a sensor in the ground, it appears the light is on a timer - meaning even in the middle of the night or whenever, if there is no other traffic and the light is red, you still have to wait for the light to change.  Sitting there, grinding our teeth, tapping our fingers, complaining about the light and its waste of our time.  No work has been done on this bridge in weeks so we don't know exactly what is happening, but eventually i would guess someone is going to work on it or something.

All that to say this morning we were driving down the road and the red light at the "bump bridge" was on again and so, in spite of the fact that there was no one around us for miles on the road, we stopped.

But when we stopped, windows down, i heard something...birds.  They were singing their lungs out - it was beautiful.  I heard and felt the coolness of the morning air, damp after the recent rain.  It is that time of year that cool wind is like a cold drink of water on the beach - it is so wonderful.  The trees were so green, the leaves waving gently in the breeze.  The grass was so beautiful, striking in its color.  There was a peace and joy and simplicity there that called to me.  It reminded me that the things that are really important in my life often get drowned out by the rushing, even rushing over the bump bridge.  Were these colors always like this here?  Were the leaves waving?  Were the birds singing?  Have i missed them so many times?

Then something terrible happened.  The light changed to green.  Wait, wait, i can't go on, i can't cross the bridge and hurry off.  I want to stay - turn back to red again!  I want to take in the sights and smells longer.

Strange how that happens - the very thing that has antagonized me, that has frustrated me, that has dogged me - the epitome of the government disrespecting our time with this silly light - it became the thing that reminded me that all this loveliness and wonder and beauty is right there in front of me so much of the time - it would only notice.  I began to just thank the fantastic God who made not just the beauty of the world, but my ability to see, smell, hear and appreciate it - i invited Him into the moment...and my day has not been the same ever since!

If life as usual in this crazy American world of get, get, get, buy, buy, buy - always more and more and more, is bugging you - if you are looking to notice more - to see more, to smell more, to find more peace, joy, goodness - we would love to have you join us this coming Thursday.

We will be getting together at McAllister Recreation center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, at about 6:45 and then around 6:55 we will be driving to an outreach night - on these nights we do something to help someone else in our community.  We will be finished typically around 8:30.  All your family is welcome!  It is a great thing to get out of life as usual!

Hope to see you there!

Where do you go?

On a regular basis, because of my work, i come across people whose lives have been devastated.  The source of the devastation comes from many places:  death of those they love, physical pain from bad backs or bodies that just won't cooperate, the destruction of their own choices and the consequences of those choices or the equally destructive choices of people who were supposed to help and nurture them that instead have hurt and beaten them down, pasts that scream the hurts and defeats and agonies into their minds every day, shattering their hopes for peace and joy, habits of thought and feeling put in place years ago in order to survive the war-zone of their lives that they now just can't seem to shed because they are so deeply engrained.

We talk, and many times we talk to God, and i do all i can to share some potential, some hope.  For these people are not hopeless.  They may feel that way, but they are not.  And one of the things i tell them almost every time is, "You need to find some people who you can hang around with who will just love you for you, some people who you can laugh with and be cared about with."  "What's your support system like?"

So many times, more than many of you can imagine, they look at me with these despairing eyes and say something like this, "That would be nice, but i have never had anything like that before."  So, i talk to them about opening their minds and hearts to where they might be able to find someone, or someones like that in their world and ask them to pay attention, to notice, and to see if they can find someone.  And sometimes, when the time is just right, i invite them to join me/us at More than more.  For here is a place where people can be loved, cared about, supported, just for who they are.  And they can laugh and live life and just be.  Many of them over the years have come to More than more and have found it true - this is a safe and good place.

So, if you are struggling, in pain, hurting.  If you could use some people who will care for you, for who you are.  If you need a place where you can laugh.  I would love to invite you to join us - we will be together next time in 1 week - on the 13th of June.  We will be together at McAllister Recreation Center - just off 20th and Schuyler, in Lafayette, from 645-800.  Of course, there will be excellent child care.  Would love to see you there.

For the love of people - we hang in the trees

Hey everyone!  If you missed our outreach last Thursday, you missed an awesome time!  After all, we climbed trees (and trimmed some), got a good workout (and laughed more than anyone ought to while exercising), put out a huge pile of trash by the road (sure doesn't take much effort when it's done by this many people), had great snacks (that had to be protected from falling branches from the roof), even did some first aid (with tissues and ice), but mostly we spent some time living life together, loving each other, and helping someone get some things done that they couldn't do on their own.  And, at the end of the night someone who had been so lonely only a short time ago got the chance to see that life could have love and life and goodness again.  That there really are people in this world who live like people matter.  That there really are people who believe in something more than just more stuff, more success, more money, more selfishness, more, more, more - and that actually live like it.  Not a bad way to spend an evening!

                Check out the pix!

                You won't want to miss our next outreach time together.  It is a blast and in these times, we find again a piece of what More than more is all about! 

                In the meantime, if you are interested in hanging out with a group of people who do things like this, we would love to have you join us next Thursday, May 16th, from 6:45-8:00PM, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette.  As always there will be free activities for all ages.

                                                                

                Hope to see you there!

Another quick note, for those of you who eat dinner

Just wanted to let you know that a friend of More than more, Kelsey, will be having a special fundraising night to help her family with medical bills related to her recent cancer diagnosis and treatment on May 8th - next Wednesday evening - 4-10PM, at Texas Roadhouse in Lafayette.  It would be a great thing if many of us were able to go - maybe even sit together.  You must have a voucher to get the $ to Kelsey and her family - we are happy to give you one.

Hope to see you there

Get Ready to Get Dirty

Now don't let your mind go wandering in the wrong way!  Our More than more time this Thursday night, May 2nd, is going to be quite a bit different than usual. 

You see, at Mtm, we are focused on noticing - we notice the amazingness of God in everyday life and soak up the wonder of life around us.  And we notice people - we notice how amazing they are and also how broken they are...and we look for chances to reach into their world and support them, to love them, in practical ways.  It's fine to say, "How's it goin?" but it is better to be ready to do something if it is not going well.

So, every so often we like to put out noticing to work.  And, we have noticed someone who needs our help!

So, what we hope is that you will put on your work clothes, your dirty old shoes, and your smile, and meet us a McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, at 6:45 this Thursday.  We will be gathering in the parking lot and driving to the outreach location together.  There we will hang out and work and if it is like the many before it, laugh and enjoy the evening!

No excuse to not come if you have no work skills, if you are old or weak or anything like that - consider yourself a cheerleader then and come cheer us on - hang out with us and enjoy some time together - there is just almost nothing better than giving of your time and energy to help someone!

Hope to see you there!

Oh the Rain

Rain.

Lots of it.

Soggy, squishy, sloppy earth.

Dark clouds
           rumbling thunder
                 flashing lightening.

Dreary indoors, cloudy skies, heavy air.


Typically i like rainy days.  I like the smell of dampness and the feel of the rain on my skin.  I like the sound of the pitter patter on the roof and the look of the mini-splashes each drop makes in the puddles.

But lately my life has been filled with storms.  Too much darkness and not enough light.  Too much pain and not enough joy.  Too much sogginess and not enough warm sunshine.  Too much indoors and not enough outdoors.

And i find, as i try to drag my scraggly butt out of bed on another rainy morning, that i am longing for some light.  I am craving some warmth.  I am dying for some positivity, some joy.

I grapple with the rain, the circumstances of life that weigh, that darken, that cover me.  I fight against them, rage against, wrestle with them.  Never seems to help very much. 

then the idea occurs to me...talk to God - he understands darkness - so i do - i talk, He listens - and the more humbly i come, the more open handed and open hearted to whatever is best for me and those i love, the more the answers come..

But the answer is not always sunshine...

Many, maybe even most, of the times, the rain keeps coming down - the circumstances don't change - there is not suddenly more money, less pain, resolved conflicts, less stress.  Seems the rain keeps falling a lot of the time.

Thing is...

I see it differently.  Instead of musty, it smells sweet.  Instead of drowning, it seems like maybe i should swim.  Instead of mud puddles to run from, i see the perfect place to splash and play.  Instead of destroying my day, i see rejuvenation of plants and birds playing in the puddles.  Instead of pain, i see God changing people's lives.  Instead of lack of money, i see a new focus on all the things money can't buy that are the most important.  Instead of conflicts, i see a chance to forgive & to ask forgiveness and to see trust grow.  Instead of stress, i see God providing what we need and i find myself resting in the simplicity of life that is right in front of me.


So many times seems we go to God hoping, even expecting, that He'll change our circumstances - that our rain will go away - no more pain, no more problems - but seems like maybe the best thing that can happen is that He helps us see what was there all along - to help us notice.

Or, as my sweet Emily has written on her wall:  "Life is less about waiting for the storm clouds to pass than it is learning how to dance in the rain."

So, here's hoping for some sunnier days, but in the meantime, i will be giving all i can to notice the beauty of the rain.

If you are looking for a change in perspective - sick of the "life as usual" American way, we would love to have you join us this Thursday night, April 18th, 6:45-8:00PM, McAllister Recreation Center, just off Schuyler and 20th, Lafayette.  As always there will be free, fantastic activities for all ages.

Hope to see you there - better bring your umbrella!

Choose your perspective

Many people believe you have to see something to believe it. They question God’s existence in this dark world. They doubt his ability to change people. Many try to avoid the possibility that someone else is in control. They rage at what God allows to happen. Make statements like- If there was a God…. I don’t see how he would…. Why…. Where is he… When I see him with my eyes…



Well here is my answer. Check your perspective! Chances are- He is right in front of you. I know this because I sat across the room from God last Thursday. I saw him with my very own eyes, heard him with my own ears, and hugged him with my own arms. I heard him laugh and cry, saw his smile, and his heart ache. Real as real can be. Now you are either reading this in disbelief or completely stunned. I’m serious though. I have found that the most amazing thing on this earth is experiencing God. And he is EVERYWHERE.



On Thursday I saw him in my friend Deb as she shared how he is working in her life. It’s amazing- he is transforming her right before my eyes. It is so beautiful. I listened to how he has interacted with her thru loss, celebration, anxiety, conversations, tragedies, and all the ups and downs of life. I have seen his love thru her more times than I can count. In her generosity, her hugs, her genuine love, her excitement, his love just radiates from her!



I think that is the beauty of More Than More. It has helped me open my eyes and really notice God. It’s amazing how he is everywhere yet I had such a hard time finding him anywhere for a long long time. I was not really looking. I was waiting. Waiting for him to do some obvious act or grand display. Challenging him to catch my attention. Questioning his authenticity. Demanding proof. Truth is I did not really want to be found. I was hiding. And I wanted to blame him for that. I wanted to control the circumstances. But I had to choose to see him. Choose to notice. And even once I found him I still tried to limit his access to my life, my heart, my children, my plans, my marriage, mine, mine, mine. It’s the love at More Than More that helped me change my perspective. Now I can notice God in everyday life in the strangest most interesting ways. I can see God working in the lives of those around me. I can trust God. I can trust others. I know he will not abandon me. I know he will provide for me. I know my children are his children. I know he loves me. I know he is transforming my heart and life. I know he is in control- don’t always like it, but I know it.



What does you perspective look like? Are you waiting? Running? Doubting? Controlling? Don’t. Choose to notice. Need a good place to start???



More Than More will be meeting Thursday March 21, 2013 at 6:45 pm at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. Love to have you join us. AMAZING childcare provided!





Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:35 NLT

What Will Really Make a Difference?

Since November i have had many conversations about Obamacare, elections, politicians and government.  So many times people have a tons of opinions about whether this particular politician or that one is good or bad - it always amazes me how so many people can believe so many different things about the same person!  Many are asking me what i think of Obamacare and the future of healthcare and all.  Aside from joking that i may end up being a government employee soon, my response is pretty predictable:

"I don't really know what is going to happen and for the most part i don't care."

sometimes mixed in with a

"I can and have taken care of people under a tarp in the middle of a field.  I'm pretty sure i can handle whatever comes."

To some this seems to be a relief - they are reassured that i am not spazzing out at what might or might not happen.

To others this is insanity and they think i am either delusional or apathetic.

To still others this is infuriating and they are ready to nail me to the wall!


Then i usually try to explain myself...

You see, this response comes from the way i live my life.  I am convinced that if anyone is going to really make a difference to the people that i encounter on a given day of my life, one person it is not going to be is Barack Obama.  I am also pretty sure it will not be Joe Biden or Dan Coats (Indiana Senator) or Mike Pence (Indiana Governor), in fact i am so sure they will not be the "difference maker" that i had to look up their names to find out who was in those offices! - not Obama or Biden, give me some credit!

You know who made the difference in my life today?  A friend. His name is Larry and he spoke with such genuine goodness and concern for me and my family that i went on with the rest of my day feeling as if i mattered more!  Who else?  My friend named Troy, who took time out of his schedule and met me for lunch - where he shared his recent experiences and i mine and i left that 45minutes strengthened - with new ideas and encouragement for the rest of my day.  My children, my wife, my medical assistant...

You know what else, it is almost always these people who really have the profound effects on my life.  It is almost never people i don't know or who are far away.  I must admit now that there are authors, like Paul the Apostle and like Brennan Manning among other, whose works have changed my life, but the impact of those words always lands in the reinforcement of the relationships of my life and this is where their wisdom actually takes shape.

So, here's the point.  Will healthcare change - yes, i'm sure it will.  And some things will be better undoubtedly and some will be worse.  But, i will not be changing who i am in the middle of it - and nothing will change what makes my life, my practice, and More than more, so special.  You see, we in our family, and at More than more believe that the world is messed up and that most people go around believing that people matter a lot but they don't typically notice the people around them enough to really make a difference in their lives - they are too busy, too overworked, too rushed, too harried and dare i say, too self-focused.  So, we rush around getting things done and we miss out on the real difference makers - all the while having all kinds of discussions about the people who really won't make that much of a difference anyway.

Now don't get the wrong idea, we get all distracted into ourselves a lot of the time just like everyone else, but we are striving, pushing, extending ourselves, intentionally to be more people who dare to notice the people around them.

If you are sick of life as usual in this country and would like to live in a world where people make a difference to people, rather than waiting to see what the politicians and policy makers do, we would love to see you Thursday, 3/7/13, 6:45-8:00 PM, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette.  As always there will be some kind of activity for all ages.  We will notice you, that i can promise.

Hope to see you there.

The How of Change

In the post, we talked about that change really does happen.  Yet, there does seem to be this part of us that we battle against, making the same mistakes over and over - frustrating, but not hopeless.

Here is what i have observed, may or not be totally on base, see what you think...
Much of the change that happens in us seems to come from:
1) our awareness of the need to change, to become someone better than we have been
2) a change in the way we view life, the world, and ourselves in it
3) a healing or change of the prompts, the things inside us that seem to drive us to make the same mistakes over and over again - this often comes with a recognition of these prompts, or broken places, and then flows from there- this mostly comes from having a relationship with God - the healing coming from God's acceptance of us, love for us.
4) having some safe relationships in which both knowing God and having some healing can take place, where people genuinely care for each other - the problem with this is that this is hard to find - there are just not lots of people out there who genuinely care for us, especially when we are at our worst - most of the people we will find are people who already know God and are broken like us.

       (a side note - i just do not find very many people in the world who love like this, when people are a their worst, except those who have God working inside them - there are lots of people who are just nice people, they would do anything for you anytime, but many times it is to their own detriment, they give so many times out of guilt and the need to please, that they often find themselves empty of meaning and broken in their own right - this is not the type of love i am talking about, although people in this situation can change just like everyone else)

5) sharing outwardly that same acceptance with other people that we encounter who are broken like us. 



Here is something else i have observed - again, totally up for discussion:

At More than more, we really did not go into the way we talk and hang out with some massive agenda - we simply saw the world as broken and did not see anyone providing love and care and help to those who we were so broken in it.  We kept encountering hurting people and loving them and then we were not sure what to do next - so Mtm was born - almost 5 years ago.

But, we have this set of ideas that we try to live by and we talk about when we get together - it is mostly centered around 1 word:

Notice

a funny word to talk about a lot but let me explain:

We stop each time we get together and we notice the amazingness of the world we live in, the amazingness of who God is in us, in our bodies, in our world - we stop...and we notice.  This begins to change the way we live life (#2 above - most everyone comes to Mtm already at #1) especially as we involve God in our lives in simple ways - this is not to say it is not a battle - we are deeply rooted in our dysfunction and broken places, in making those same mistakes over and over again - but we see them start to recede a little as we notice.

Then, we stop and notice people - how amazing and wonderful and complex and awesome they are...and how much they totally suck - they are broken, all of them, even the ones we think are larger than life.  We notice that there is nothing in the world so worth our time and effort and care than people, and yet they drive us crazy a fair amount of the time.  As we apply noticing people to our lives, we start to see #4, and 5 start to take place in us.  We begin to love each other.  We begin to see ourselves as loveable.  The brokenness meets some healing.  #3 seems to come from the combination or the overlap between noticing God and noticing people - in the context of truly loving relationships, we begin to and continue to, search and find the stuff in us that needs healing - you see, we do not want to hurt these people we love and we do, especially as we get closer to them. Plus we can accept from them loving guidance and feedback on the pain they see in us more and more the more we see their love for us, and God's love for us.

It's strange, it seems a bit like a formula and it really isn't.  It is full of grief and pain, laughter and joy, embraces and hurts, dirt and grease and blood and sweat and tears.  It is full of faces, hands, feet.  It is full of memories, sweet and painful.  It is full of life - real life - full life - life as it was meant to be lived.  And life cannot be distilled down to a formula. 

Plus, the #'s above are simply generally how it works - the thing is it looks different with each person - many many times we start and then stutter, we fail and then fall, we totally back out of the relationships because of fear or hurt or past experiences - it just feels like too much - we lash out or misspeak sometimes right into the pain of another person and wound them without meaning it.  Most of the time it is not intentional when we struggle, even with the goodness of change that happens, it is because the pain and hurt is so big in us - the past programming and defenses are strong and we are weak.

the good news?

Mtm will be here.  We truly do love. We truly are changing.  We truly will accept you.  We truly are trying to notice...

Hope to see you tonight, 6:45-8:00PM, 2/7/13, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler, Lafayette - as always there will be free, excellent activities for all ages!

Well, maybe...Yes...

    Wow!  I have been writing this blog/email list for quite some time and i am starting to think that i need to finish blog posts with questions more often!  I received multiple beautiful replies...i do not have the liberty to share those as they were sent only to me, not to the blog or to the whole group, sorry.

    Now, speaking to those who have responded and those who have not, let me give some follow up thoughts to the previous post.
   
    Any of you who have spent much time around me know 2 of my basic tenets: 1)people suck - all of them and 2) notice people, they are the most amazing and wonderful thing that exists in the world and the only thing worth investing your life in.

    Now, unless i am utterly insane( no comments please), i must believe that there is some hope for all the sucky people in the world, of which i feel like i have been the suckiest, otherwise why invest so much time and energy and passion and why adopt such an utterly hopeless life mission???

   So, i will cut right through all of my lingo and tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes, people can change - people can become better (minimize suckiness, reduce pisstivity - that oneis for Jas) - they can develop more of the good traits and less of the bad.  How do i know this?  I have seen it.  I have seen people who were selfish and hurting and broken and on the defense and non-trusting and beat down and even arrogant and self-serving change.  I have watched them become something that at some points only faintly reminds me of the person they were when i met them.  In fact, sometimes i think if they had known then what they know now, they might have spazzed out at what they would become...

   Now, here is where it gets kinda more difficult. 

   So, a second question for you:

         How does the change happen? Is there a magic formula? Maybe a potion of some kind? Maybe a step-by-step that we simply follow the sequence of things we have to do and we become better people?

Do People Change?

In the middle of this "land of opportunity" where people consume (after all the "consumer" is king, right?) as a way of life, i think we would all agree that there are some things in a person that we would describe as good.  Things like generosity, kindness, self-sacrifice, love, courage, humility, character, hard work, loyalty, integrity...i think i would be hard pressed to find people in our culture, no matter their walk of life, faith-system, orientation, financial class, race, sex, location, etc that did not agree that these types of personality traits are inherently good in a person and the opposite of them (stinginess, selfishness, meanness, conceit, arrogance, deception, laziness, fickleness, betraying) is not good. 

Here's the problem.  For most of my life i totally realized that these were the good things in people.  I realized that i wanted to be those things.  In fact, i even tried...really hard...to get more of these things.  I read about them and thought about them and regretted the times i was not them.  But i could not seem to make any progress.  No matter how hard i tried, i could not make any progress.  I kept being selfish and stingy and even mean.  I hate to admit it but i was a failure at becoming a good person.  And i want you to know my attempts were not half-hearted.  i spent so much time in pain for the person i was not and yet i could not seem to get out of it...

In light of this...

A question for you tonight:

     Can people change?  As you look into your life and those around you, good and bad, do you see them becoming more...good?

 I know not everyone is trying, some of the people in our society still feel like making more money and buying more stuff and serving their own selves is going to be the way for them to live their lives out - party party party - indulge everything and life will be great.  But, when we look at these people, they are icky - they do not live the goodness we all agree on.  And, trust me on this one, there will be a day when they will feel their ickiness - when all their selfishness crashes in on them...

  I'm actually talking more about the people who are actually trying - the ones who realize that they want to be more of the things above, but that they are not making it.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Maybe i am by myself in this attempt to try to become...

  Do those people who are trying to become more good...do they become more good?  Do they get somewhere with it, or do they follow the path that i followed - are their stacks of self-help books as high as their stacks of regrets?  do they circle back on the same dumb mistakes over and over?

 

HEAVENS TO BETSY, HE LOVES HER MORE?????

So last night we listened to a country song "I Loved her First" by Heartland and it's messing with my head! What a beautiful song about a fathers love for his daughter. Jason said he thinks that is how God feels about us. So I started thinking about when I first held my baby girl Lucy- how instantly I was madly in love with her. How I could just hold her in my arms forever and felt no one could ever possibly love my girl more than I did in that moment alone. Or the first time she said "Mom ma" how she melted my heart with her sweet little voice. And the first time she giggled, crawled, walked, grinned, said "BOO" how everyday she amazes me and I am so stunned by her. Well God loved her first. And MORE than me….WHAT?? How is that even stinking possible. This little peanut has me wrapped around her finger smitten. Huh. Amazing- but my darn mind kept spinning. Hmmmm. If He loves Lucy that much- He loves me that much too. Me. Really?? As screwed up as I am? Huh. Not really sure what to think of that. Almost question His judgment- Uh Hello God do you see what a mess I am. "Yes, child I do." At least I think that is what he would say. See no matter how much my kids drive me bonkers I freaking love them. Even when I have to tell my son Drew to put his shoes on 20 times and still walks out of house without shoes, or my stepdaughter Ella wakes Drew up in the middle of the night and convinces him we should all sleep in the same bed-mine, even when my little Lulu screams bloody murder when I leave the room for a just a minute. No matter how they act I love them. And God feels the same way. Still loves me even though I have made bad choices. Still loves me even though I doubted His love. Still loves me when I'm being stubborn (which is rare.) So I started thinking bigger. If He loves me that much then he loves you that much too. Yes you! I hear you- “not me, not possible.” YES YOU!!!! YOU YOU YOU! He loves us all that much. So at this point I am feeling pretty warm and fuzzy- awe so much love. Sap. But my head keeps spinning- until crash. It smacked me in the face, stomped on my heart, tough love. This unconditional love that I am feeling is amazing, but there are so many people who don't know this feeling. Or maybe know of this love but do not feel or believe it. What a crushing feeling. I have this stupid complex that I have to solve the problem, have to fix it. But obviously there is no grand easy solution. I kind of wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs "WAKE UP WORLD! GOD LOVES YOU!" So although I would like to think I can take on the weight of the world- I can barely handle the weight of my own mess. Do you ever get like that? Have a problem that is just too huge to solve? Or a problem that just has no answer, cannot "fix" it. Well it makes me angry. My coworker has one of the "easy" buttons from Staples. It's quite a grand idea- simply press a button, problem solved, and a friendly voice says "That was easy." Well I don’t have an easy button or easy answer. But I have a real answer. On your own you cannot solve it. Gee thanks for the encouragement- right? However, if you allow God in your heart, your life, your problem- there is NO limit to what He can do thru you. So I cannot wake the entire world up to the good news of Jesus Christ and Gods unconditional never failing love on my own. But I can allow God to use me to share this with whomever He wants. He can use me thru all my faults, all my mistakes, and all my stubbornness. And He can you use too. So no matter who you are or what you have done or not done- He loved you first. Always has, always will.


Meg

We will be hanging out again this Thursday night, the 24th of  January, McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00PM.  I you are interested in living life in a new way, betterm than what you see around you, please join us.  We hope to see you there!

Same Kind of Broken

So I was listening to Jason Castro's new CD with my stepdaughter Ella and found a new favorite song. I cannot recall the exact lyrics, but this part stuck in my head.


We all need someone to love us where we are

What if we all took a minute to lay our differences aside, we would find we are the same kind of broken.


How true is that! I'm sure everyone can agree sometimes we just need to be loved where we are for who we are without all the criticism and judgment. And God does exactly that. He loves us- as we are no matter what! He does not require us to change to be loved by him. There is not list of requirements to earn his love. He does not stop loving us when we screw up. He does not abandon us- EVER. He just loves us. And when we love Him back and follow Him- truly amazing things happen. He becomes part of us. Before you know it you are doing things and making choices you never thought you could or would. But notice the most important part of this. He teaches you to treat others with the same love he shows you. Notice those around you- your friends, neighbors, coworkers, the little old lady who calls to make an appointment but quickly forgot why calling and really just wants someone to talk to, someone to listen. Maybe that person has no concept of what love really is. How awesome would it be to just love them for who they are. Because you know what. They are the same kind of broken as you. We are all the same kind of broken. No matter what breaks you- anger, addiction, greed, fear, divorce, abandonment, loss, money, depression, no matter what we are all the same kind of broken. The problems we face may vary. But bottom line we are all screwed up in some way or another. None of us are perfect. I personally have let control, judgment, and pain drag me away from what I know is the truth. I have ran when I should have stayed. I have clung tightly to my son when I should have trusted God. I have hid when I was grieving. I have pushed friends away when I feared judgment. But what I am learning is that God has loved me and stuck with me through all of it. Did I always feel like he was there- NO, did I yell at him when I was upset- SURE DID, but truth is he never abandoned me. And if he has not yet- then by golly I believe he won't ever. And not only did He love me but He put people around me that loved me in my mess.

At our last more that more gathering we had the joy of sharing changes we have noticed in each other. How awesome to hear and see the difference God has made in our lives. Yes we are all still broken and still have a bunch of problems- but we are surrounded by love. We get to remind each other just how awesome God is and where we notice Him in our everyday lives. We get to see things differently then most of the world. Maybe you have never came to More than More. Maybe we sound like a goofy support group. Trust me More than More is not just a support group. We are a group of people who are the same kind of broken as you and will love you for who you are. We are a group of people who notice God everywhere and want you to notice it also.



Come notice with us Thursday 1-10-13 at at 6:45-8:00PM, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. Awesome childcare provided for all ages.

See ya soon,

Megs