We sort of have this ritual of the way it works, i get the leash and the harness, she whines and prances, then i try to train her to hold still enough to let me actually put it on her. Out through the garage and into the drive, where she races to the edge of her invisible fence (which doesn't work even though she doesn't know it - as i have written about before). There i have to pick her up and carry her 65#'s over the imaginary line of the nonfunctioning invisible fence so she doesn't think she can run across it and then sit her down, sometimes less than gracefully, on the driveway. Thus beginning Flo's opportunity to drag me on the first 1/2 of the run.
Now there are 4 things i would like to share with you about our runs - the first in this post and the second, third, and fourth to follow in the next posts...
As we run, her tugging the crap out of my arm, and me no doubt running faster than i would without her, we move thru the streets of my neighborhood, usually early in the morning before most of the people are awake.
This morning was a bit different though - i slept far later than usual - and that meant that the run was, let's say, different.
You see, there were at least 4 dogs in their yards, behind their invisible fences, that we encountered on our run.
Here's the thing, as Flo comes up to another dog, they bark at her...loudly. They follow along the boundaries of their invisible fences, saying something in dog language, not really sure what but it is forceful and intense. And Flo listens, she is excited, she is dancing around and running toward them. She wants to go into their yards and interact with these other dogs, to make friends, or to fight battles, i am not sure. But this i do know: we are on a run. This is not a play date or a war opportunity. This is a run and we are going a direction and we will continue to go on that direction. You know what else? Flo doesn't just run after dogs, she runs away from sprinklers and chases birds. She hears every noise and sees every flit of movement. She reminds me of the dogs in the Disney movie, Up, who are constantly being distracted by squirrels! She seriously is like a kid on red bull. Her attention is just all over the place - if she didn't have the leash on her, she would be off after another distraction every 2 seconds.
Now, before i go off on another one of Flo's running tangents, let me tell you the point:
In my life, i feel like Flo a lot of the time. I set out on my day and have all this focus (truthfully sometimes i don't even start out my day focused but at least sometimes i do) - i am gonna do what's right and not get sucked into the culture of get more stuff and buy more stuff and always be the best and compete with those around me and always make people happy and get more friends and look good and never show your weaknesses and then before i know it the barking dog is someone's rejection and i feel like crap and all my focus goes out the window as i either give all i have to win back their approval or feel like dookie for letting them down...or the barking dog of competitiveness runs out at me and i feel the pressure to be the best and so i dump the focus on the really important stuff and re-apply myself to perfection or i feel the impossibility of perfection and condemn myself for my imperfections - or there goes the bird of my past hurts and they seem huge and so i run inward, hiding...convinced that no one would really want to know me if they only knew this or that and that if i risk i will simply be hurt again, totally forgetting all the trust i have built up in those adopted family members that surround me...or i hear the call of my fatigue and know that in the past my fatigue had nearly destroyed me and so i run away from commitments and closeness and investment in the things and people that really matter in this life, inward and away, protecting myself from the harm i feel is coming soon...should i go on?
In each case, i did not intend to be distracted from what is important anymore than Flo means to be distracted when we run. But, the truth is, i do get distracted, and it messes with me, my family, my world, and all those who love me. It so often destroys my ability to have joy and peace and hope and life the way that i really was meant to have it.
I want to tell you though about one of the ways i keep myself from getting distracted. There's this really cool group of people that call themselves More than more. They are all just as distractable as me. But they all want to keep their focus just like i do. We together are trying to run, together, some slower and some faster, but all of us in the same direction, toward a life that is so much More than our culture offers. And you know what? So many times when i start to get off on some funky distraction, following the culture or my pain and hurts, there is one of them right there to refocus me. One of them there to remind me where i am heading and why. One of them to bust my chops when i need it, or pick me up when i am broken hearted.
On our runs, i always remind Flo where we are going. And when i remind her, she turns and runs the direction i am running. She does this because she trusts me. I am "her master and she loves me" (another quote from Up). She knows that i will not steer her wrong and in the end, life is best following my lead. I have been loving and taking care of her since she was about 8wks old after all.
If you are sick of getting distracted, if you feel as if there must be something More in this life but you have a hard time staying focused on it, i would love to introduce you to this fantastic group of people More than more - i will be hanging out with them this coming Thursday night, September 20th, from 6:45-8:00 PM, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. As always there will be awesome stuff to do for kids of all ages. Hope to see you there - if you're not sure which one i am, look for the one wandering off...and please remind me that it's time to head inside!
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