Well, maybe...Yes...

    Wow!  I have been writing this blog/email list for quite some time and i am starting to think that i need to finish blog posts with questions more often!  I received multiple beautiful replies...i do not have the liberty to share those as they were sent only to me, not to the blog or to the whole group, sorry.

    Now, speaking to those who have responded and those who have not, let me give some follow up thoughts to the previous post.
   
    Any of you who have spent much time around me know 2 of my basic tenets: 1)people suck - all of them and 2) notice people, they are the most amazing and wonderful thing that exists in the world and the only thing worth investing your life in.

    Now, unless i am utterly insane( no comments please), i must believe that there is some hope for all the sucky people in the world, of which i feel like i have been the suckiest, otherwise why invest so much time and energy and passion and why adopt such an utterly hopeless life mission???

   So, i will cut right through all of my lingo and tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes, people can change - people can become better (minimize suckiness, reduce pisstivity - that oneis for Jas) - they can develop more of the good traits and less of the bad.  How do i know this?  I have seen it.  I have seen people who were selfish and hurting and broken and on the defense and non-trusting and beat down and even arrogant and self-serving change.  I have watched them become something that at some points only faintly reminds me of the person they were when i met them.  In fact, sometimes i think if they had known then what they know now, they might have spazzed out at what they would become...

   Now, here is where it gets kinda more difficult. 

   So, a second question for you:

         How does the change happen? Is there a magic formula? Maybe a potion of some kind? Maybe a step-by-step that we simply follow the sequence of things we have to do and we become better people?

Do People Change?

In the middle of this "land of opportunity" where people consume (after all the "consumer" is king, right?) as a way of life, i think we would all agree that there are some things in a person that we would describe as good.  Things like generosity, kindness, self-sacrifice, love, courage, humility, character, hard work, loyalty, integrity...i think i would be hard pressed to find people in our culture, no matter their walk of life, faith-system, orientation, financial class, race, sex, location, etc that did not agree that these types of personality traits are inherently good in a person and the opposite of them (stinginess, selfishness, meanness, conceit, arrogance, deception, laziness, fickleness, betraying) is not good. 

Here's the problem.  For most of my life i totally realized that these were the good things in people.  I realized that i wanted to be those things.  In fact, i even tried...really hard...to get more of these things.  I read about them and thought about them and regretted the times i was not them.  But i could not seem to make any progress.  No matter how hard i tried, i could not make any progress.  I kept being selfish and stingy and even mean.  I hate to admit it but i was a failure at becoming a good person.  And i want you to know my attempts were not half-hearted.  i spent so much time in pain for the person i was not and yet i could not seem to get out of it...

In light of this...

A question for you tonight:

     Can people change?  As you look into your life and those around you, good and bad, do you see them becoming more...good?

 I know not everyone is trying, some of the people in our society still feel like making more money and buying more stuff and serving their own selves is going to be the way for them to live their lives out - party party party - indulge everything and life will be great.  But, when we look at these people, they are icky - they do not live the goodness we all agree on.  And, trust me on this one, there will be a day when they will feel their ickiness - when all their selfishness crashes in on them...

  I'm actually talking more about the people who are actually trying - the ones who realize that they want to be more of the things above, but that they are not making it.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Maybe i am by myself in this attempt to try to become...

  Do those people who are trying to become more good...do they become more good?  Do they get somewhere with it, or do they follow the path that i followed - are their stacks of self-help books as high as their stacks of regrets?  do they circle back on the same dumb mistakes over and over?

 

HEAVENS TO BETSY, HE LOVES HER MORE?????

So last night we listened to a country song "I Loved her First" by Heartland and it's messing with my head! What a beautiful song about a fathers love for his daughter. Jason said he thinks that is how God feels about us. So I started thinking about when I first held my baby girl Lucy- how instantly I was madly in love with her. How I could just hold her in my arms forever and felt no one could ever possibly love my girl more than I did in that moment alone. Or the first time she said "Mom ma" how she melted my heart with her sweet little voice. And the first time she giggled, crawled, walked, grinned, said "BOO" how everyday she amazes me and I am so stunned by her. Well God loved her first. And MORE than me….WHAT?? How is that even stinking possible. This little peanut has me wrapped around her finger smitten. Huh. Amazing- but my darn mind kept spinning. Hmmmm. If He loves Lucy that much- He loves me that much too. Me. Really?? As screwed up as I am? Huh. Not really sure what to think of that. Almost question His judgment- Uh Hello God do you see what a mess I am. "Yes, child I do." At least I think that is what he would say. See no matter how much my kids drive me bonkers I freaking love them. Even when I have to tell my son Drew to put his shoes on 20 times and still walks out of house without shoes, or my stepdaughter Ella wakes Drew up in the middle of the night and convinces him we should all sleep in the same bed-mine, even when my little Lulu screams bloody murder when I leave the room for a just a minute. No matter how they act I love them. And God feels the same way. Still loves me even though I have made bad choices. Still loves me even though I doubted His love. Still loves me when I'm being stubborn (which is rare.) So I started thinking bigger. If He loves me that much then he loves you that much too. Yes you! I hear you- “not me, not possible.” YES YOU!!!! YOU YOU YOU! He loves us all that much. So at this point I am feeling pretty warm and fuzzy- awe so much love. Sap. But my head keeps spinning- until crash. It smacked me in the face, stomped on my heart, tough love. This unconditional love that I am feeling is amazing, but there are so many people who don't know this feeling. Or maybe know of this love but do not feel or believe it. What a crushing feeling. I have this stupid complex that I have to solve the problem, have to fix it. But obviously there is no grand easy solution. I kind of wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs "WAKE UP WORLD! GOD LOVES YOU!" So although I would like to think I can take on the weight of the world- I can barely handle the weight of my own mess. Do you ever get like that? Have a problem that is just too huge to solve? Or a problem that just has no answer, cannot "fix" it. Well it makes me angry. My coworker has one of the "easy" buttons from Staples. It's quite a grand idea- simply press a button, problem solved, and a friendly voice says "That was easy." Well I don’t have an easy button or easy answer. But I have a real answer. On your own you cannot solve it. Gee thanks for the encouragement- right? However, if you allow God in your heart, your life, your problem- there is NO limit to what He can do thru you. So I cannot wake the entire world up to the good news of Jesus Christ and Gods unconditional never failing love on my own. But I can allow God to use me to share this with whomever He wants. He can use me thru all my faults, all my mistakes, and all my stubbornness. And He can you use too. So no matter who you are or what you have done or not done- He loved you first. Always has, always will.


Meg

We will be hanging out again this Thursday night, the 24th of  January, McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, 6:45-8:00PM.  I you are interested in living life in a new way, betterm than what you see around you, please join us.  We hope to see you there!

Same Kind of Broken

So I was listening to Jason Castro's new CD with my stepdaughter Ella and found a new favorite song. I cannot recall the exact lyrics, but this part stuck in my head.


We all need someone to love us where we are

What if we all took a minute to lay our differences aside, we would find we are the same kind of broken.


How true is that! I'm sure everyone can agree sometimes we just need to be loved where we are for who we are without all the criticism and judgment. And God does exactly that. He loves us- as we are no matter what! He does not require us to change to be loved by him. There is not list of requirements to earn his love. He does not stop loving us when we screw up. He does not abandon us- EVER. He just loves us. And when we love Him back and follow Him- truly amazing things happen. He becomes part of us. Before you know it you are doing things and making choices you never thought you could or would. But notice the most important part of this. He teaches you to treat others with the same love he shows you. Notice those around you- your friends, neighbors, coworkers, the little old lady who calls to make an appointment but quickly forgot why calling and really just wants someone to talk to, someone to listen. Maybe that person has no concept of what love really is. How awesome would it be to just love them for who they are. Because you know what. They are the same kind of broken as you. We are all the same kind of broken. No matter what breaks you- anger, addiction, greed, fear, divorce, abandonment, loss, money, depression, no matter what we are all the same kind of broken. The problems we face may vary. But bottom line we are all screwed up in some way or another. None of us are perfect. I personally have let control, judgment, and pain drag me away from what I know is the truth. I have ran when I should have stayed. I have clung tightly to my son when I should have trusted God. I have hid when I was grieving. I have pushed friends away when I feared judgment. But what I am learning is that God has loved me and stuck with me through all of it. Did I always feel like he was there- NO, did I yell at him when I was upset- SURE DID, but truth is he never abandoned me. And if he has not yet- then by golly I believe he won't ever. And not only did He love me but He put people around me that loved me in my mess.

At our last more that more gathering we had the joy of sharing changes we have noticed in each other. How awesome to hear and see the difference God has made in our lives. Yes we are all still broken and still have a bunch of problems- but we are surrounded by love. We get to remind each other just how awesome God is and where we notice Him in our everyday lives. We get to see things differently then most of the world. Maybe you have never came to More than More. Maybe we sound like a goofy support group. Trust me More than More is not just a support group. We are a group of people who are the same kind of broken as you and will love you for who you are. We are a group of people who notice God everywhere and want you to notice it also.



Come notice with us Thursday 1-10-13 at at 6:45-8:00PM, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette. Awesome childcare provided for all ages.

See ya soon,

Megs