sometimes it is hard to believe the sticky notes

On Valentine's Day, my sweet wife decided it would be a good idea to put sticky notes on the bathroom mirror of some of the things she loves about me.

They were pink (Valentine's day)

And she shaped them in a heart...

To you it probably seems silly, or just frilly and romantic.  But to me, it was quite significant.  You see, many times I do not feel lovable.  Too many times people have told me I wasn't; treated me like I was not worth their time or energy; put me down; threw me away, like so much trash.  I began to believe it somewhere along the way.

And there's this heart, on my mirror - and it says all these reasons to love me - that someone who I love very much believes - enough to spend time shaping them into a heart. 

It was wonderful.

So much so that I have left them up for the 3wks since Valentine's Day.  I love looking at them.  I love the reminder.

But I noticed something. 

Sometimes I do not see them - or if I see them, I discount them - I can say to myself that they are not true or don't matter (but I must say it doesn't even get that far sometimes, sometimes I don't even look at them).  It's weird - it 's not like I don't want their encouragement - its like I know what they are saying and I already don't believe it and so I wont even look at them - it's like in my head I believe they are lying to me (ok now I feel like pink papers can lie - I am losing it!!) and so I don't even want to pay attention to them - or maybe because it's safer somehow in my mind to just not believe the good things, but to stay where I am.  Sometimes I am discouraged and frustrated and hurting and I don't feel like I am all those things, and it is easy to negate them...

Then, you know what happens, someone from More than more, who I have had a chance to get to know through this crazy group of broken people, replies to my cry for help.  They tell me that not only are they talking to God about me, but they say some of the things on the pink papers too - they care and they believe good things about me.  They become a source of the Goodness of God to me - and suddenly the pink papers are more true, validated by someone else; someone who has no ulterior motive - no agenda - no manipulation - nothing they want from me.  And life looks different - the darkness recedes some.  I can see myself for who I really am better.  and I am thankful.

I don't know if you sometimes struggle seeing the pink notes on your mirrors.  They can look like a lot of things - hugs from kids, smiles, care of co-workers, love from a spouse, or a mom.  They can be so many things.  Or, you may not have many pink notes in your life at all - I have been there.

If you are in that space - or if you have been - or if you find yourself there at some point - I wish you would consider joining us at Morethanmore.  We will be hanging out tomorrow night, the 5th of March, at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, Lafayette, from 645-800pm.  This is a group of people that love to just hang out, laugh, enjoy time together.  But we grow something bigger with time.  We grow the chance to remind each other who we really are - we grow encouragement - and it is worth an evening of your life every other Thursday.  Hope to see you.