A Road Hypocrite

I have a confession to make.

I am a road hypocrite.

Please don’t judge me too harshly.

You see, earlier this summer i was hit while riding my bike to work.  Don’t freak out, it only scabbed me up a bit.  The guy was super sorry and we did not call the police or the insurance company.

But, i was mad.  Very mad…at him.  For not looking.  For not seeing me.  He didn't look.  He should've looked.  He could've killed me.  These thoughts ran through my head as i looked at my knees and my bent up front tire.

Here’s what happened - it will help you understand:

    

So, he looked to the left where the cars  were coming from, but not to the right, where i was riding the wrong way on a one way street      I figured he should have looked to his right just in case there was a pedestrian coming, or a biker!!!!

Well, over a few weeks, the anger wore off, the scabs healed, we got a new bike tire, and all was ok.  I rode my bike to work and was a bit more careful.

But then the other day, i noticed something…

I was driving close to the same area of town and i stopped at a one way street, one i knew very well.  I stopped (full and complete, for i am a safe driver).  And i looked ONLY in the direction of the oncoming cars.  I was through the intersection before i realized that if a pedestrian (or a biker going the wrong way) was going against the one way, i never would have seen them!!!  TO my horror i realized i was a road hypocrite.  I was suddenly remarkably sympathetic to the guy who hit me on my bike and remarkably thankful there was no one walking in that intersection!!

I felt the lameness of my condemnation of him.  

I felt yucky for having been so mad.

And then i realized that this is not the only area of my life like this.

There are so many areas of my life that i may judge someone else harshly and then realize in a short time that i also suck horribly at what i had judged them about.  

In fact, there are so many areas of my life i want to be more consistent, more kind, more patient, more loving, more understanding, more wise, more fun etc, etc, etc. and yet i find myself doing the very things, thinking the very things, that i don't want to.

It is so frustrating!

Sometimes i start to hammer away at myself when i realize these things and feel like i should just wear a giant “I SUCK” sign on me all the time - until i realize that everybody is like this to some degree - we all wrestle with what we wish we were - and what we have been.  The thing is, we are usually afraid to admit it.  We don't want other people to know we struggle - what will they think of us??

The problem is that owning the hypocrisy, living the truth, is part of what begins the healing process of life.  It is a piece of the puzzle that helps us progress to be less and less hypocritical over time.  As we are able to share life, we find that we are truer to the person we want to be many times, especially when we involve God in that process too!

At More than more, we are all about being true.  We are a messed up group of people with pasts that would make you blush.  We have lived lives of hypocrisy and hurt.  And yet, we have found that we can have real relationships, laugh, enjoy, and not fake it.  Hurt, and not fake it.  It’s not always easy.  

But we have found that the fake of our world, while safer sometimes than truth, is not worth it.  There is something better than life as usual.  There is something More.

If you also are tired of fake and would like to hang with some people who are looking for a new way of living - we would love for you to join us this Thursday evening, from 645-800 pm at McAllister Recreation Center, just off 20th and Schuyler Ave, in Lafayette.  As always there will be free excellent childcare for kids up to 5th grade and the center has lots to do for tweens and teens too.  You will find that it is freeing, full of laughter, some music, and some awesome people - not fancy - but we do tend to drive against the one way of our culture…