Lawsuits and other Fears

I am a Family Practice doctor. It is a special type of ministry that you should never attempt unless called to it. It is full of joys and pains and wonders of all sorts. But, as with anything that involves being responsible for large numbers of peoples’ lives, it is also very stressful. One of the most stressful parts is the fear of malpractice law suits. The average doctor at least gets sued once in their lives, many more than once. Add to that the fact that many of the suits are more about people’s feelings than true mistakes and that sometimes juries see bad things that happen naturally to people and they want someone to help (and who else is there to help but the doctor?) and it can be downright scary!

In light of all this, I got an envelope today. In the corner was marked Laszynski & Moore, Attorneys at Law. It was a very formal looking envelope. The kind where the contents inside can plunge you into months of uncertainty and eventually end your career…AAAAAAAH!

Ok, I’m back now, deep breathing helps! Now understand, I get envelopes from attorneys from time to time and they usual are nothing more than records requests from accidents, etc. But, every time I see one a little voice inside me freaks out just a little. In fact, I almost always feel compelled to open it right away. Today was no different. I shakily took the envelope in my hands and ripped it open, reached inside and, filled with fear pulled out…a kids magazine advertising a horse riding camp? Yes, even I, as relieved as I was, was majorly surprised! It turns out that a patient of mine works for this law firm. She loves horses and she and I speak nearly every time we meet about my daughter Emily’s love of horses. In her horse riding reading, she had come across this ad and wanted to share it with me. She even put a little note on the front to explain what had sparked her interest. Obviously, my fear faded and I went on to the next patient.

The thing is I see an awful lot of humanity in this simple event. In fact, it hits particularly close to home right now. In the last week, a very close person to me has judged me by what they saw on the envelope, rather than opening up things all the way and seeing that what is inside is nothing like what was expected. I found myself reeling in pain at the idea that this person could believe such a thing about me, yet I seem to be unaffected by my attitudes regarding the homeless man who used to stand on the corner, the person with the multiple piercings who always wears black who wants to be able to look me in the eye and see the love and acceptance of Jesus there, the divorcee who wants to be loved the same as she was before she was divorced, that person who loves the choruses or that one who loves the hymns, and on and on I could go. It destroys us and our ability to convince anyone that what we have is anything they would want. The truth is that we people, but worse, we Christians are so pitifully unChristlike in this area. In fact, my initial response to my betrayal was to, unbelievably, see only the envelope. I was ready to crucify this person for not loving me for who I am. In my pain, I neglected to see the person who was misreading my package and judged far too harshly myself. I was no better than they.

Jesus was so awesome at this being non-judgmental. Over and over, He was able to see right through the envelope to the cool ad inside. He took it really to extremes though, even seeing the lack of understanding in the people who were killing Him, and begging for their forgiveness while he died. The problem is that, while I want to be like Jesus, I’m not. He was God! He could see into those people’s hearts! Like I can do that! Sometimes I’m glad to be able to sit still long enough to look my wife in the eye, much less see into someone else’s soul.

So, here in the 21st century, how does a judgmental guy (and church) get past our tendency to freak out over the envelope and always be looking for the really cool stuff that lies underneath that little flap?

The answer lies in a couple things. First, we must realize that if we were judged by our envelopes, we would all be worthless. Even though we may think we have it all together, the right clothes, the right talk, the money, the house, whatever, it is all just envelope and the real guts of who we are lies in what is inside the envelope. Our soul, our integrity, our passion, our love, our joy, our empathy…these are the things that really give us our value – really, it is the things God gives each of us in our hearts that give us value. So, once we begin to say with Sanctus Real, “I’m not all right” and actually more than say, but really begin to believe it and even embrace it, we are on our way to getting past our judging by the envelope. You see, once you determine that your real worth is the same as everyone else and that God gives it all anyway…what’s the point to judging?

The second thing that I think is key to overcoming our envelope judging selves is to begin to think like Jesus. I know this may seem like, ”Yeah, duh, great plan Hendrick,” but let me explain what I mean. The thing that made Jesus so amazing was that He was God, yeah, but He was also completely and totally in tune with His Father. When Jesus spoke, He said what the Father would have said if He had been there. When He went somewhere, it was exactly where the Father would have gone. They were totally in sync. I believe that we are called, as Christians, to move along this same road throughout our entire lives! No, I am not whacked in the head! Think about, we are called to be like Jesus. It is all over the New Testament!

So, how do we do this? I suggest you begin by taking your “I’m not all right” self and talking to Jesus about it. Start by asking Him to simply show you how to love. Start talking to Him about loving Him and loving people every hour each day. Voice your frustrations, celebrate your victories. Ask him in the quiet of your heart, right at the moment, or even right after, if it’s too late, that you find yourself encountering a tendency to judge, to show you the way and change your heart to His heart. Start reading the Bible, but instead of just reading it like a “I must get my chapter in for the day”, pray first for God to open the pages into your heart and stop when you sense something special and drink it in deeply, all the truth you can savor. Share with a close friend or two the areas you’re struggling with and have them pray with and for you and you pray for them. In these ways we break the chains of judging and move closer to the heart of Jesus.

I can’t speak for you, but as one who has both freaked out about an envelope that looks scary and had his own envelope freaked out about. I will, for the rest of my life, seek to move closer and closer to the One who really understood all the fuss about envelopes and cool ads in the first place. I hope you will too.