Of (dis)illusions

I just returned from a crazy 4 hour drive each way that has returned me to questions I often wrestle with - this time I would like to share them with you...

We went on this adventure for 2 reasons - one was to see some very good friends and to share some time together - they have a fabulous family and we see them rarely and so it was good to catch up, laugh and say things like, "I remember when..." The second was to celebrate my wife's birthday - her birthday is September 11th and I know this is a really late gift, but I had given her tickets to see one of her favorite music groups on Friday night.

The time with friends was encouraging and fun, relaxing and crazy, but the concert was just amazingly unexpected. We arrived just as it was starting, to see a local youth group praise band play, which we enjoyed from a praise standpoint much more than from a band standpoint. Then, within a few minutes the group we had driven all that way to see came up on stage. It was a far more theatrical performance than we had expected, but the music was good and the ringing of their songs deep in our hearts was really powerful in some spots. There was one thing that I noticed was remarkably absent for a Christian music group, playing in a Church - there was no prayer - none. I had grown used to listening to their music and kneading those words like yeast into the lives of the people I lead and watching those peoples' lives be changed by God working through those words in the middle of their life situations - so to have no communication with God surprised me. It certainly did not keep me from jamming out with my family - praising God and enjoying the talents of the four gifted artists.

Now, we had been expecting to walk into a packed house - but there apparently are not very many people in that area who follow this group - there were only about 50. We were surprised but fine with it. The cool thing is that after the concert, because there were so few of us, the band stayed around and talked and had pictures taken, signed autographs and all - it was cool. Since it was my wife's birthday present, we decided to do the "groupie" thing and get pictures with the band. But, we couldn't just have a picture, we felt compelled to tell them the impact that their music was having on what we do. The lead guitarist was really touched - it was cool to see him light up when he heard of how the tunes he was playing were making a difference in the lives of real people. But the conversation with the lead singer really was a bit mind bending...

We had our picture, then told him how we invest our lives in helping people see the amazingness of God in everyday life and also in helping the people of our world see that there is More to life then the usual American way that so often leaves us feeling empty & 00unfulfilled. Then he asked a question. "So, you work with the disillusioned. Are you, as well, disillusioned?" He proceeded to tell us the story of his hurt and painful betrayal in his Church and how he had not even been back to church since - and it sounded like a long time.

So, here's a question: What makes a writer of fantastic songs about the strength and protection of God disillusioned by what he has seen in the American Church? Well, he has seen what we all see if we are around very long and if we look very close - in fact what we can't miss unless we bury our heads in the sand and deny/refuse to look at all. He has seen that people suck. He has witnessed the ickiness and pain and poor choices and other people harming actions and emotions and relationships of people. Now, it takes only 2 seconds to confirm that this should not have surprised him and it should not surprise us - people suck - all i have to do is look into my heart and my motives and my attitudes and i quickly find that suckiness is the norm - and i see it in everyone i know - including my wonderful wife, who many of you i'm sure are convinced is perfect - sorry honey! We do stupid things every day - sometimes it seems like every second. Yet, somehow, sometimes we are still shocked, amazed, hurt, even horrified at the fact that people have done bad things, cruel things, hurtful things, even illegal and evil things. Why? We don't seem to be too bothered when prison inmates act in evil ways. But, we speak so freely of our disillusionment with the church - we find ourselves reeling inside, when we hear of church people who have been behaving in sucky ways. Yet, we see it in ourselves if we will just look with enough humility to peer honestly and truthfully at our hearts - and most of us, in our honest moments, would admit this.
What was my answer to him? Yes, we have been and are, to some degree, disillusioned. But, we find that wherever we look, people suck. They are all messed up. They are selfish and pitiful and broken and it is not any different in the church, it just is a different look of the people and a different look of the suckiness and a different list of the issues.
So, if people are all so screwed up, why is he and why are we so many times so horrified by the church people who are sucky? Well, i am convinced that it is because we have this expectation that in their positions with their "connection" with God and their worship times and all that they will no longer be so pitifully sucky - but we are wrong!!! And we are judgmental and unfair to turn around the suck meter on them and turn it up to freaking ultra sensitive detector mode for them and if they come up with any suckiness then we hand our heads in defeat and become "disillusioned." Think about the word disillusioned for a second. What does it mean? "Dis" means the negative of something - like "dis"respect means not respecting. But what does illusion mean?

il•lu•sion ( -l zh n)
n.
1.
a. An erroneous perception of reality.
b. An erroneous concept or belief.
2. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief.
3. Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception.

So, to be disillusioned might mean the opposite of that definition - which really might mean that our original erroneous perception of reality or concept or belief (that church people don't suck just like everybody else) is now gone - we now see reality, we have a true concept or belief.

The thing is, the truth is not always fun and it is not always what we want to hear. We wanted church people to not suck - but the do. So, why do we find ourselves so lost and frustrated and screwed up after learning all these sucky things about the people of the church?

Well, that leads to the next thing i told him (honestly at this point not believing i am having this conversation with this guy who wrote these songs that have so touched my life, but plunging on anyway) was, "The thing is dude, people all over suck, in the church and out of the church, but God does not suck - He is amazing and if you keep coming back to Him - over and over and over again - your life will be the best life it can be!!! He, you see, is wonderful!"

And i think that's why it bothered me that they didn't pray.

So, what do you do with all this? if you are angry or frustrated at people who you thought woudl not be sucky and it proved out that they were over time - let it go - talk to God about it and realize that they are living up to their potential - they are going to screw up and the sooner you realize it, the better - if you are wallowing away in self-pity over the fact that the institutions that are supposed to be showing the amazingness of God are not, and maybe they have even hurt you - get over it - start looking to the God who will show you himself, if you will simply notice (check out www.morethamoremtm.blogspot.com) - talk to Him about it - get together with other people who are also noticing Him and share stories - pursue Him and invite Him into the moments of your life - it will make all the difference.

After all, this is the same God who carts families 4 hours across the midwest to see a music group in order to arrange a meeting of the disillusioned - what wouldn't He do to help his sucky, messed up creation to get back on track?